Blank Canvas
by Jennie Exell
Summary: BA HEART SICK PART 2.As Angel recuperates after the events of Friends, Lovers and Enemies, under the watchful eyes of three overprotective and powerful young women, he must decide what he wants to do with the rest of his life. (takes place post NFA)
1. Prologue & Part 1

TITLE: Blank Canvas (sequel to Friends, Lovers and Enemies)

AUTHOR: Jennie Exell

EMAIL:

DISCLAIMER: All stuff BtVS and A:ts belong to joss and co. I'm not making any money from this so don't bother suing me.

RATING: PG for now, I think...

SPOILERS: Every thing up to the end of both shows, especially 'Not Fade Away' and 'the Girl in Question'.

SUMMARY: Post Not Fade Away. As Angel recuperates after the events of Friends, Lovers and Enemies, under the watchful eyes of three overprotective and powerful young women, he must decide what he wants to do with the rest of his life.

AN 1: This takes place exactly where the last story left off... What you actually thought I'd leave you hanging like that? Silly people.

Prologue

It waited.

It was coming, it had to be ready, and so it waited. Patient as marble, silent as death; in the corners, in the shadows. In those secret places where only the dark things knew, it waited.

And it watched. It watched unendingly, every detail, every minute change in the world that could signal Its coming.

It didn't care, didn't think, it had a purpose and it waited to fulfil it. And when it had? It would wait again for the next time It came, until time itself stopped.

It was closer now; the time was coming.

Soon...

Very Soon

* * *

Part 1

It was like swimming in cotton wool. A warm fuzzy feeling; but there was something not quite right. There was a noise, not loud or soft, just there; and it was bugging the hell out of him.

He didn't want to leave his safe cocoon of comfort, but the incessant beeping was like a tether, pulling him, unwillingly to the surface. There was no particular reason he wanted to stay away from the source of the sound, he wasn't afraid of it; he didn't resent it or what ever it represented. It was just childlike stubbornness. But the sound continued and he knew he had to give in, would have to leave his woolly floaty place and...

The first thing Angel noticed as consciousness returned was that he didn't hurt, which was unexpected; the second was that he was feeling, well if he had to describe it in one word he would probably use 'giddy'. There was something else too; someone was holding his hand.

He struggled for a moment, but his eyelids felt like lead. Giving up for the time being he sorted through his foggy mind as to where he was. He could smell bleach and disinfectant. There was a soft hum around him, which was nearly drowned out by that infernal beeping. Beeping, oh he knew the sound now, a heart monitor. _'That explains bleach and disinfectant.' _And then it came back to him. The hospital, a month's planning and preparation for an operation that would not only save his life, but lengthen it to that of a normal, healthy, human male, with the help of medication of course. Healthy, oh it would be good to be healthy again. Just 5 weeks before he hadn't cared, but then they'd all come. Buffy, Giles, Willow, Faith. Faith's Boyfriend Robin, he'd met briefly just before coming into hospital and apparently the twit Andrew, although he hadn't seen him.

Truth be told, he would have preferred Giles, Andrew and Buffy hadn't come at all. Out of the three it was a toss up between Giles and Buffy which one he resented most. He'd always respected Giles, trusted him, and had even seen him as a strange kind of father figure when he had first started to assimilate with Buffy and her friends. But now that trust was smashed. He understood that the man hated him; he had after all been responsible for the death of the Englishman's girlfriend and had also tortured him mercilessly for hours. But it still hurt that the watcher had tried to kill him, not to mention refusing to help when Fred had been taken over by the demon god-bitch.

Then came Buffy. He couldn't think about her right now, his head was too fuzzy. This strange, light, happy giddiness that blanketed him and brought to mind Casino's and snack food for some reason; was not conductive to clear thinking. And clear thinking is what he needed when Buffy was around. Which was more than he would have liked over the last month if he were truly honest. It was too hard to keep to his convictions, too easy to be pulled in again when she was there, pretending to care, being his 'Friend'. He didn't know what her game was, but he knew they had to talk. She was floating around with air of nervous anticipation and impatience that was beginning to grate. But he hadn't the energy or patients to deal with it before. He had to put 100 of his energy into firstly recovering from Giles' assassination attempt, then getting himself fitter and healthier in order to increase his chances of surviving the procedure he was to undergo.

And that brought him full circle in his thoughts. Despite not quite being able to open his eyes yet, he was fully aware that he was alive, so that was good news, or so he hoped. And he did hope, which was a vast change from 5 weeks ago. Five weeks ago he had been numb, hollowed out by the events of the last couple of years. He'd been waiting for death until Faith had verbally kicked his ass into gear and shown him that there were reasons to continue his existence. He wasn't sure of all of them yet, but he was getting there. Faith had been his rock the last month, had been instrumental in fulfilling his desire to get healthy again. Willow had also been a presence he appreciated over the last month, and not only because she had created his new identity, he was slowly beginning to realise what a true and trustworthy friend the powerful little redhead could be. Now she and Faith were his almost constant companions and along with Gunn, the three of them skittered around him like overprotective mother hens. Although he doubted Gunn would appreciate the metaphor.

The feeling of the hand holding his, squeezing slightly, brought Angel back to the here and now. Feeling slightly more confident that he could, he tried to pry his heavy eyelids apart. After a few false starts his eyes fluttered open and glancing over he saw it was Faith who had hold of his hand. She was looking down, clearly deep in thought. Giving her hand a return squeeze he got her attention.

"Hey."

"Hey" He shot back gracing Faith with a huge smile.

"Whoa check that out!! If I knew morphine did that, I wouldda loaded you up on it ages ago!" Faith laughed.

"Funny." Angel tried to grump but the goofy grin remained. So it was morphine, well that explained a lot. Woolly thinking aside, he was feeling the insane urge to giggle.

"So, how you feeling?" Faith said suddenly serious. The operation had taken 8 hours and it had been nearly 15 since she'd seen Angel disappear into the OR on the trolley. He'd been so nervous about the anaesthetic, she'd been allowed to sit with him until he'd gone under but that was when she had to leave him. The protective slayer in her had screamed inside her head; but it hadn't been some evil monster that was a threat to him. No, it was the fear she had of him dying on the table, where she couldn't help him, that had made her so worked up. When the doctor had come and found them after the operation to tell them that it had all gone to plan, she had never been so relived in her life.

Angel squeezed her hand weakly. He was suddenly tired again.

"Hey, I'm fine... better than, I'm peachy!" Angel giggled slightly, but sobered somewhat when Faith stared at him incredulously.

"I think they gave you too much."

He was going to reply but he yawned instead. The doctor chose that exact moment to enter the small room.

"Tiring out the patient I see," He said smiling lightly.

"Nah Doc, just keeping my boy company."

The doctor merely nodded and moved to look over Angel's chart.

"How are you feeling Mr keeley?"

"Tired," Angel mumbled sleepily, his eyelids were made of lead again and drooped, despite his best efforts to keep them open.

The doctor smiled again. "The residual anaesthesia and the pain medication will do that. Now as I have already explained to your friends, the procedure was a complete success, I don't foresee any complications but we'll be keeping you in the ICU overnight just in case. After that we'll move you to a ward for a day or two depending on your progress and then you should be free to go home." He looked up from the chart and saw that Angel had nearly fallen asleep again. "I'll talk to you once you're more awake about your meds and follow ups."

"'k"

Faith smiled, she wasn't sure Angel had heard a word the doctor had said. She pulled a piece of still too long hair away from his forehead. It was a sappy gesture, but no one could see, Angel himself was asleep again and the doctor was busy looking at the various machines and noting things down on Angel's chart.

Before leaving the doctor turned back to Faith.

"I know you're worried about him, but please don't stay too long. He really needs all the rest he can get. He'll probably come in and out until the middle of tomorrow, if there's someone here, he'll try harder to stay awake. Besides I know you've been here all day, you and your friends have practically taken over the cafeteria. Get some sleep, you can come back and visit him in the morning."

"Sure, ok." Faith agreed quietly. She was tired, it wasn't easy just sitting around worrying all day, not to mention watching Buffy pace like a madwoman. An orderly had eventually come and told the Blonde to sit down or leave because she was upsetting the other people in the OR relatives room. That's why they had relocated to the cafeteria.

She stayed at his side for another hour. She was sort of hoping he'd wake up again, just so she could talk to him; reassure herself that he was ok. They'd become closer than ever, over the last month. Despite having the majority of the Scooby core in LA, Angel still firmly believed that she and Gunn were all he truly had left in the world. He had never gotten along with Xander, he was slowly warming to Willow again, but he was being a stubborn jackass when it came to Buffy. If she hadn't known how focussed he was on sorting out his health, she would have been sorely tempted to smack him upside the head. As a result of his issues with the Scoobies, Faith had found herself in the role of best friend and confidant. She didn't care what the blood might say; Angel was her family, he may be just one person but he'd shown her more about love and friendship then her own family had ever done.

Giving her friend's hand one last squeeze and promising his sleeping form that she would be back tomorrow, she quietly left the room.

* * *

Buffy paced.

And paced

And paced

And paced

Gunn watched her travel up and down the sitting room until his neck hurt. He'd spent the night before at Buffy's house because he'd fallen asleep in the waiting room, he'd even slept through them wheeling him out of the hospital and getting him into the car. He'd woken up when they'd already been halfway back to the house and had agreed to spend the night there instead of having them drive all the way over to the other side of town to take him home. It wasn't a bad thing since he planned to accompany them back to the hospital the next morning, he was anxious as any of them to see how Angel was. They'd filled him in as to what had happened after he fell asleep, on the journey. Faith had finally left Angel's side and after telling them how disturbing seeing Angel on morphine was, had reminded them of the doctors orders that Angel be left to sleep until the next day. According to Willow, Buffy had been less than pleased to hear that she couldn't see Angel that night, but doctor's orders were doctor's orders and she had, after some persuasion, agreed to go home and sleep. That was probably why she was up at the crack of dawn, pacing around the sitting room where he had been trying to sleep, waiting for it to be time to leave for the hospital again. He was glad that Angel had people that cared so much, but was still tempted to find a tranq-gun and knock the girl out.

Since their arrival, the girls had filled him in on all the details of the Buffy and Angel saga, unabridged and without Cordelia spin; it actually made sense, in a 'can these two be more dense' kind of way. Regardless of how epic and tragic their love affair, and regardless of how eager the girl was to see her long estranged true love, was it unfair to ask he be left in peace to get some sleep?

"Hey, your Dad ain't gonna be happy if you wear a trench in his carpet, Buff."

"XANDER!" Buffy spun to face her childhood friend who was stood in the doorway. "Is it time to go to the hospital yet?"

"No..." Xander dragged out the word giving Buffy a pointed look, "Its time for Xander to get ready for work, you remember, the first day at my new job?"

"Good luck, man," Gunn called from his place wrapped up in blankets on the couch. "Think you can take her with you?"

"You're awake?!" Buffy squeaked spinning back around. "But I was so quiet!"

"Not quiet enough, girl." He grumped back, snuggling deeper into the covers.

"Come on, Buff lets let the man sleep. I'll make you breakfast."


	2. Part 2

Part 2

Angel looked up when the door to his new room opened. They'd moved him from ICU a couple of hours before. He'd never been so glad of the money from Wolfram and Hart as he was now. It had not only paid for his operation but it had paid for this comfortable private room. He'd once told Cordelia he'd always be a loner and it was true, he didn't fancy being stuck on a ward with other people; he was far more comfortable on his own. If comfortable as a word he could use to describe himself right now. They'd lowered his main medication slightly and he was suffering from a strange all over ache and combined with the side effects of the morphine (being high as a kite) comfortable was something he wasn't.

Instead of a nurse or another member of hospital staff as he'd expected, the door opened to reveal the faces of Gunn, Faith, Willow and Buffy. He hadn't realised that it was visiting time already.

Gunn quickly wheeled himself over to his friend's side, he'd adapted well to his chair, and now had more mobility that most people would have thought possible. The physio at the hospital had already got him on a wheelchair basketball team, based at a sports centre near his aunt's place. Angel let out an insane giggle as Gunn spun his chair up parallel to the bed.

"Faith was right, you're even more disturbing than Wes was on the Morphine." Gunn laughed.

At the thought of their fallen comrade both men sobered. Well one sobered and one tried to. Faith clipped Gunn around the back on the head as she approached the bed.

"Geeze, great start Charley, lets depress the man in the hospital bed." She groused sarcastically.

"Hey Angel" Willow chirped cheerfully but shyly as she sat on the end of the Bed.

"Willow," Angel nodded back with a smile.

Faith made her way round to the other side of the bed, and sitting in the chair there; she poked at the food left on a tray by Angel's bedside.

"You gonna eat this?" She said studying what was probably scrambled egg with his fork.

"No"

"Cool!" The others watched incredulously as she moved the plate to her lap and started to shovel the contents into her mouth.

"So..." Gunn said, still watching the brunette slayer impersonate a ravenous pig. Finally able to tear his eyes away he looked at the ex vampire, "How you doin, man?"

"Err..." Angel too, was struggling not to stare, "I'm good. The doctor came in earlier, talked me through post op procedure. They lowered my pain meds tho,"

It was then he noticed that Buffy had hung back. He could just see her over Gunn's shoulder, hovering near the door. He wanted to be mad at her, to be able to tell her to get out and leave him the hell alone, but she looked so wistful, like she really wanted to be sat with them. Maybe it was the morphine but he couldn't bare the look on her face.

"Buffy,"

Buffy met his eyes over Gunn's shoulder and offered him a small smile.

"Hey Angel."

"I'm sure if you ask at the desk they could get you a chair from somewhere." He offered.

"Ummm. Yeah" She said, before disappearing out the door.

"OH MAN!!" Every ones attention suddenly snapped to Faith, whose face was screwed up in disgust. She looked slightly green. "Ok, its official, hospital food is definitely worse than Prison food."

He couldn't help it, before he could stop himself, Angel sniggered, and then it grew to an all out giggle. His mirth was infectious and Gunn and Willow soon found themselves joining in, although without the slightly manic quality of the Morphine imbued ex vampire.

"Hey its not funny!" Faith barked indignantly, before covering her mouth with her hand and turning an even deeper shade of green. "Oh, god, I'm gonna spew."

* * *

After Buffy returned, the group stayed at Angel's bedside until he fell asleep once again. Content to let their convalescing friend get the rest he needed, they quietly left his room and ventured towards a part of the hospital they knew well, the cafeteria.

As Faith and Gunn took the lead, talking animatedly about various demons and fighting experience, Willow and Buffy followed more sedately in a comfortable silence. Willow cast furtive glances at her best friend from time to time, as they navigated the maze like hallways of the hospital. She appeared to be thinking deeply, not surprising she supposed, considering events of the last few weeks.

"You OK Buffy?" Willow prodded, curious as to what exactly was going on in the blonde slayers head.

"hmmm?"

"Earth to Buffy!"

"What sorry, Will."

"Deep thoughts?"

Buffy stopped and turned to her best friend. Sighing slightly she ran her hands through her hair. "Yes, no..." she pouted for second, then threw her hands up in defeat, "I don't know... At least he talked to me right?"

"You've waited this long Buffy, a little longer won't kill you."

"I know this, believe me. Its just, I know he's hurt and I know he has things on his mind that are WAY more important than me and him, but..."

"You want a chance to set the record straight?"

"Yeah... check me out. self absorbed Buffy, GOD, he's just had heart surgery, I'm sure the last thing he needs is his clingy ex."

"Oh Buffy," Willow pulled her best friend into a hug, the last month had bridged the gaps in their friendship that had been forming for years. More than once since their arrival in Los Angeles, the one of them had mentioned how it was just like senior year all over again. Buffy worrying over her relationship (or non relationship) with Angel, Willow being supportive best friend, Xander Jumping in with inappropriate comments and although he had softened his stance on the ex Vampire, he had said he would never like him. All they were missing was the presence of Oz and Cordelia. Giles was never mentioned; his betrayal had hit them all too hard.

Releasing the blonde, Willow stepped back and offered her a small smile.

"I'm sure that's not how he thinks of you. I mean, if he did, then learning about you and immortal wouldn't've hurt him right? And lets not forget the little fact that he left you like six years ago, he can hardly expect you to stay at home waiting for him. Oh not that you actually went out and looked for the immortal right? Coz that was all thrall. Wasn't it?"

"Yep, I was all thralled Buffy. God that's so Icky, I mean, ok so I sort of knew what I was doing, but it wasn't really me that wanted it you know?" Buffy scrunched her forehead. The topic of the immortal was one she hated, the whole thing made her feel violated. His thrall had been so subtle that nothing they did was exactly against her will; it was just like being a little drunk the whole time. In England she'd heard it called beer goggles, when you found yourself attracted to someone, who whilst sober you would avoid like the plague. At first she had thought the only repercussion of her whole torrid escapade with The Immortal was her bone deep embarrassment, If only that were the case. Now those few weeks were the largest stumbling block between herself and her soulmate. Her soulmate who had stopped believing in her and in their love. "Ok enough grousing, I need coffee."

"Yup coffee is good and Oh maybe one of those little pastry things with raisins?"

"Sounds good to me."

* * *

"No way"

"Its true,"

"No dammed way, Wes so did not do that. No way."

"See, you didn't see Wes back then, the man had it goin on!!"

"He killed a Muppet?"

"Dude this was an evil Muppet."

"With a shot gun? Isn't that over kill?"

"I did mention evil right?"

"So let me get this straight. You, Angel, Wes and Fred, stormed the studios of some kids show, and slaughtered the cast, live on air?"

"Pretty much."

Faith just shook her head. She and Gunn had been trying to top each other with the strangest thing they'd ever fought. It was pretty clear that Gunn had won, who could beat evil Muppets?

"Ok, ok. Now I need back story for this, coz you don't just go around beheading felt puppets, that's just weird."

When Willow and Buffy entered the cafeteria, they were instantly alerted to the presence of their friends, when Faith's howl of laughter ricocheted around the room. Quickly moving to their table to investigate, they found a smug looking Gunn and Faith collapsed in heap, chocking her laughed into the tabletop.

"A puppet... A puppet... oh god!!" She gasped around her laughter, "Tell me you got pictures?"

Gunn looked even more smug and grinned. "Yup!"

"You're evil!"

"Ok, someone wonna explain why Faith is having a seizure?" Buffy asked as she reached the table, casting a curious look between the pair.

Gunn decided to answer because Faith looked ready to fall off the table unconscious. "I was just telling Faith about an incident last year."

"That has something to with puppets?" Willow asked confused.

At the mention of the word Puppet; Faith, who had just about got herself calmed down, collapsed again, hiding her head in her hands as tears ran down her cheeks.

* * *

In deference to keeping Faith calm, Gunn refrained from telling the other girls the tale of Puppet Angel. Instead the four sat talking about plans for the next few weeks. They had all put their lives on hold since the assassination attempt on Angel and Giles' betrayal. Truth be told, Buffy felt she'd had her life on hold since she got the call from Gunn all those weeks ago. But now they all had time to breathe, and it was time to think about what they were doing.

"Man, I gotta get back to the neighbourhood soon, they gonna think I ran out on them again." Gunn said after swallowing a bite of his tuna salad sub.

The others nodded; they knew that since the fall of Wolfram and Hart, Gunn had gone back to his roots and was working closely with the next generation of street kids fighting the perpetual war for survival in the more down trodden areas of Los Angeles. Stories of the things he'd done had been floating around the neighbourhood for years, so even despite his missing legs they were quite happy to listen to his advice. Most of his original crew had either died or had fallen in other ways. One of the hardest pieces of news he'd had to swallow was that Rondell, his long time right hand man, who he'd last parted company with on such bad terms, had died in a drive by shortly after he'd started at Wolfram and Hart. When Gunn had returned, he'd found his old crew fragmented and crying out for leadership, there were a lot of new faces, many of them the younger siblings to people he'd fought shoulder to shoulder with back in the day. Needing something to make himself feel useful again, where 'that place' had sapped him of all his self worth and purpose, he'd pulled them together. He couldn't fight with them, but he trained them, guided them. Over the last month he'd left them much to their own devices. He'd learnt from past mistakes that walking away for extended periods of time could lead to deep resentments, so he really needed to show his face. His reverie was broken by the voice of one his female companions.

"I was thinking of checking out UCLA," Willow spoke up, idly pushing her salad around her plate with her fork. "With UC Sunnydale at the bottom of big hole and all. How about our two slayers? Any plans?"

"Nope, I was sorta all set to go with training the girls back in England, but now?" Faith shrugged and took a sip of her coke, "No clue."

"Buffy?" Willow prodded.

"Nope, no idea, I guess it wouldn't hurt LA to be home to an active slayer" Buffy caught Faith's eye and the brunette nodded "or two. I think I kinda figured my future was whatever Giles wanted me to do with the council, but now I'm renegade, AGAIN, and to be honest I haven't really thought about it."

"Yeah, I get that, it's been non stop around here for a while." Gunn agreed.

"You know its funny," Buffy said "All those years I was like, 'wouldn't my life be so great if I wasn't the slayer' and now I don't really have to be and I can't give it up."

Gunn raised his coke in agreement and Faith nodded, "Here, here, B."

"I wonder how Angel feels about it..." Willow mused aloud. When the others looked at her she explained. "He's been fighting longer than any of us, makes you wonder if he'll be prepared to give it all up."

"Not seeing it, fighting is all he knows, man nearly went stir crazy with a desk job." Gunn put in. "Makes you wonder tho, man's got his whole life a head of him, what's he gonna do with it?"

* * *

When they all decided to head back to Angel's room, Faith insisted they bring something for Angel to eat. She was adamant that nothing human could eat the food in the hospital judging by what she had tried that morning, the only problem none of the could agree on what they should take him. So loaded with subs (Gunn), chips (Faith), fruit (Willow) and cherry pie (Buffy) the foursome started their trek over to Angel's room.

To say Angel was surprised when they arrived laden with gifts of cafeteria food was an understatement. He watched wide-eyed as they bickered their way into the room. He woken up only about 20 minutes beforehand and had been disappointed to find himself alone.

Left alone his thoughts had unwittingly followed a similar track to those of his friends on the other side of the building. Not 5 weeks ago his future had seemed a moot point; he simply didn't have one. Now he did and despite the long list of things he would like to do, the more practical side to his nature pondered over his long-term objectives. As Liam, he had no real plans for his future, as a teenager he had wanted to be an artist, but his father had brutally crushed that dream, calling it an unfit profession for a man to pursue. He'd tried his hand at his father's business, but a lack of interest and not having the requisite head for numbers had quickly left him out of a job and in his father's bad graces once again. In his twenties he had simply given up trying, unable to find a profession that his father would approve of, that he could do. He had to admit his later attempts had been half hearted at best though, already too disheartened to really try.

As Angelus, it hadn't been an issue; evil soulless vampires rarely look for jobs with good career prospects. And anyway wasn't blood sucking fiend an occupation? Being a sire was certainly a full time job.

After the soul, he'd worked involuntarily for the US government those short few weeks back in 1942. In 1996 he had become a full time employee of the PTB, but with his humanity, had come his retirement from their service, whether he wanted to or not. Angel Investigations was probably the closest he had come to a true profession, a job. But Angel Investigations was now just a faded plaque on the doors to the abandoned Hyperion hotel. Wolfram and Hart was a disaster that he would rather forget, he counted it amongst his greatest failures. So where did that leave him?

He wasn't given time to fully brood over the subject, as the arrival of his friends bearing great mountains of food, was a distraction to blatant to ignore. He couldn't help the dippy grin that spread over his features, they'd brought him food, it was so sweet. 'Since when do I find things sweet? Damned morphine.'

"Hey, Big Guy! Check it out, Food!"

"We having a picnic?" Angel asked slightly bemused.

"No, this all for you. See I told these ladies that a man like you, he don't need nothing fancy. Tuna sub, no fuss no muss, in't that right man?" Gunn spoke up.

"Err,"

"No way, see Charley, what Angel needs is feel good food, chips, chocolate and soda." Faith argued back waving a chocolate bar for emphasis. Angel watched the chocolate almost hypnotised, even before all the recent events chocolate was the one thing that could bring the barest hint of smile to his face. He almost whimpered as Faith went to peal off the wrapper, but was distracted when Buffy put her two pence worth into the conversation.

"Would you guys please get over yourselves? Feel good food? Manly food? Please, the best thing when someone isn't feeling well is pie. The ultimate comfort food," then she added with a shrug and an apologetic glance in Angel's direction, "well except for ice cream but they didn't have any."

Angel just stared, he was ravenous, the lunch he'd been served had looked ok but one mouthful had put him off trying to consume any more. He had planned to ask them, when they returned, to get him something from the cafeteria, but now he didn't need to, only they still all had hold of the bounty they'd brought. A light touch on his shoulder pulled his attention away from the delicious looking food being held just out of his reach.

"I brought you this, I don't have some big reason, but HEY, it's healthy." Willow said with a shrug and smile, passing over an apple, a banana and a pear. "We all sort of assumed that whatever you got for lunch would be inedible."

Quickly taking a bite of the apple, he shot Willow a grateful smile and indicated she should take a seat at the side of the bed.

Swallowing a lump of the sweet fruit, he leant a little closer to the redhead and glancing over to the bickering trio spoke quietly.

"What is all this about?"

"They couldn't decide what would be the best thing to get you for lunch." She replied with a laughing smile. Angel just raised an eyebrow incredulously.

Angel didn't get a chance to respond because the room fell into silence at the sound of someone clearing their throat loudly filtered through the room.

The doctor that Faith had seen the night before stood in the doorway to the room, looking at its occupants with barely concealed confusion.

"Everything alright in here Mr Keeley?"

Choking slightly on a chunk of apple as he struggled not to laugh, Angel nodded.

"Well then, there are a couple of things we need to discuss."

The doctor was mildly surprised when Angel asked that the others were present, but seeing no harm in it, continued to outline what Angel was to expect over the course of his recovery.

They'd already agreed that Angel would move in with Faith, Willow, Buffy, Robin and Xander at Buffy's father's house after the operation. Satisfied that Angel would get the care he would need once he'd been released the doctor went over the finer details of postoperative care. Angel would have to return the hospital a week after he was released and continue to do so until they thought it was no longer necessary. As well as the medication for the pain, Angel would have to carry 'just in case' meds at all times and more than likely for the rest of his life. It wouldn't stop him from doing pretty much anything. The doctor even said he was confident that in the very near future he could see no problem in Angel running a marathon should he chose to do so. But in the interim he would have to limit any strain he put on his heart, for the first six months it was recommended he limit himself to light exercise and until he was finished with his weekly appointments he should do even less than that. Buffy had turned bright red when the doctor had told Angel that for the next few weeks he not do anything that would unnecessarily raise his heart rate, including having sex.

With that out of the way, the doctor reassured Angel and the rest of the group that he should be released the day after next, barring no complications. Promising to have some leaflets for Angel before he was released the doctor checked over Angels chart and left.

Angel stared up at the ceiling. In two days he would be out of hospital. In two days he would start the rest of his life, he should be excited. So why was he terrified?

* * *

It was time.

In another place, not too far from Angel and the Scoobies, the shadows stirred. After centuries of waiting it was finally time. There was no discernible event, no cataclysmic circumstance that had informed the knowledge. It simply knew, that it was time.

IT needed to rise, and to rise IT had to be fed. It had been many human lifetimes since it had gone on this mission for IT. If IT had a name it didn't know it. All it knew was its duty, its Duty to IT.

The human eye would never know something had changed. But some eyes could see, and they trembled at the sight of the space where it had rested.

It was time.

* * *

Juliet Morse hated the dark. Her mother always told her it was silly to be 11 years old and afraid of the dark, but her mother never saw the things that she knew were there, just beyond the shadows.

Clutching her blanket to her chest she watched the shadows, she couldn't seem to find the switch for her bedside lamp, in fact she couldn't find the lamp. She had woken to the pitch black, trouble was she was sure she'd only gone to bed for a midday nap.

There it was again, a shape, moving from one corner of the room to another. No, not a shape, a shadow of shape. A shadow in the shadows, darker than black if that was possible.

Pulling her knees up to her chest, Juliet squeezed her eyes shut, she couldn't call out, her mom got really cross if she woke her up because of shadows. Ad that's all it was, she told herself, just a shadow. Trouble was they'd done shadows in school and she knew you needed light to create shadows. So where was the light?

And surely shadows didn't make noise... right?

"Hello?" No reply came only the skittering sound she'd heard before.

"Jason?" that must be it, her brother playing tricks... Yet still no reply. "Jason you're scaring me, please."

Nothing, just skittering, like hundreds of tiny claws on hardwood flooring. Not that she knew what hundreds of tiny claws on hardwood flooring would sound like, but she could guess, her grandmother had had a cat after all.

The shadow moved again, and something soft like a warm breeze ghosted over the skin on her left arm. Leaping sideways from the touch, she became tangled in her bedding and fell clumsily over the side of her narrow bed. 'Narrow bed?' her one at home was wide, a three quarter size, the envy of all her friends. 'THIS ISN'T MY ROOM!' She opened her mouth to scream...


	3. Part 3

Part 3

Buffy balanced the tray in one hand as she moved to push open the door to Angel's room. He was staying in what had been a spare room when she had lived here as child. She didn't think she'd ever known this house have so many people in it. Sure when she had lived here with her parents, there had been parties, but never this many people living here. Faith and Robin had her parent's old room, Willow had Dawn's room, Xander was in one of the spare rooms and Angel now had the other, she of course was staying in her own room. It was so strange walking in and finding so little changed from when she had moved out. Her father had got the house in the settlement, Buffy wasn't sure why; it had to be worth a fortune and her Mom had come to Sunnydale with very little money wise.

Now this big old house was home to the reunited Scoobies, the bedraggled remains of a force that had stopped apocalypses and kept the streets of Sunnydale safe for humanity for the better part of the last decade. Now combined with a few new faces and some much missed old ones, the Scoobie gang was back on Californian soil, but it wasn't the evil ass-kicking machine it once was. No, Buffy couldn't remember the last vampire she'd staked, it must have been about 8 months before, she was sure. Back in Rome, back when she was finding out who she really was, back before the immortal and all of its repercussions.

Sighing Buffy shook herself out of her thoughts. She was carrying a tray with Angel's breakfast on it and it was going to be spoiled if he didn't get it soon. Knocking quietly she pushed open the door and entered.

She watched from the door way as he stirred. He looked so much healthier than when she first arrived. There was colour in his cheeks, he'd gained a little weight, not much but he didn't look quite so skeletal, and his eyes, god his eyes, they had life in them, that sparkle that lit them from within and softened his whole face. But those eyes never smiled, at least not at her.

She missed him, she'd gone to Italy to find herself and she had in a way. She'd learned a lot about herself in those few months but mostly she learned that she still loved Angel, and she wanted him back. Sadly the Immortal had found her and put her in his thrall. By the time Willow had freed her, stories were coming in thick and fast of Angel's defection to the dark side.

It had all been nonsense of course, but it had prevented her from resolving the issues that lay between them. Now the wounds had festered and she was nervous about the chances of any kind of recovery. Time. That was what everyone kept telling her, but what good would time do if Angel wouldn't even talk to her?

Moving over to the bed she placed the tray on the nightstand and gently reached out a hand to Angel's shoulder. Squeezing lightly she tried to wake the dozing ex-vampire.

"Angel."

"hmmmfrdmmmg" Came his unintelligible reply. Buffy smiled, it seemed Angel really wasn't a morning person, either that or the meds he was on were really strong.

"Angel"

This time Angel opened his eyes a fraction and peered at her from under sleep-laden lashes.

"Buffy"

Buffy swallowed, he said her name like he used to, full of hope and love and wonder, so unlike how he'd said it of late, all cold and distant and almost hateful.

Angel had woken to the sensation of someone squeezing his shoulder and calling his name softly. Opening his eyes a fraction and he'd seen her. Buffy. For a moment he had forgotten, the past, the hurt, the broken promises and shattered dreams. But then it came back and hit him like a freight train. Every once of hurt had collapsed on his already wounded heart and he shuttered.

Noticing his face suddenly turn cold once more, Buffy sighed. It had been too much to hope that things could change to dramatically over night. Whatever she had seen on his face and in his eyes, what ever she had heard in voice just seconds before was just an illusion or maybe a throwback to a past he wanted to forget. Either way, full wakefulness had chased whatever softness there had been from his demeanour and she was once again left in the cold.

Angel struggled to sit upright and winced as his stitches pulled and his body protested at the sudden movement. Buffy quickly helped him sit up, not oblivious to his discomfort from both his operation and her presence. Once he was settled back against the headboard, his pillows piled behind his back, she turned and retrieved the tray she had brought from the nightstand.

"I brought you breakfast, all low fat and low salt, just like the doctor said." She offered with a smile as she placed the tray on his lap.

"Thanks" Angel pursed his lips for a moment; idly fiddling with the food on his plate with his fork. Looking up he gazed at Buffy. "Where's everyone else?"

Buffy swallowed her hurt at the question and plastered on a fake smile.

"Umm, Xander's at work, Robin is also at work, he got a job at Hemery can you believe? ahhh... Willow is looking at UCLA and Faith went to meet Gunn, he wanted her to talk to some of his kids or something" She finished with a shrug.

Angel just nodded and took a bite of his breakfast. Talking to Buffy was hard, he didn't know what to say, he was trying very hard to be civil, she had given him a place to stay after all. Well truth be told she probably hadn't had any choice, Faith had been insistent that they look after him after his surgery and they weren't going to do it the shit hole he called his apartment. What Angel didn't know, was that it had been Buffy who had first raised the idea of him coming to stay after the operation, so to his mind he was only here because Faith had managed to either convince, coerce or blackmail her into agreeing.

He sighed, she was still standing there, he knew she wanted to say something or ask something, but hadn't yet. He wasn't sure what was stopping her, very little had stopped her from saying hurtful and devastating things in the past. It had been obvious she had something to say to him since she had arrived, considering what he knew about their situation, he couldn't foresee any conversation they had being pleasant, at least for him.

"Are you planning to just stand there and watch me eat?"

"What? No... I uh... I wanted to talk to you." Buffy replied awkwardly. This was harder than she thought it would be. Time and maturity had taught her some restraint, back when she and Angel had actually been an item a comment like that would have induced a hissy fit of righteous indignation, usually accompanied by harsh words said in the heat of moment only to be regretted not minutes later. Several conversations sprung to mind, most notably the last time she had actually seen him in Los Angeles before she had come 5 weeks ago, in a police station, where she ruthlessly threw her new relationship in his face. _'Could I have been a bigger bitch?'_ That had also been probably the first and only time he'd ever stood up to her, it had been a bitter pill to swallow at the time, throughout their relationship Angel never fought back. It was ironic that they had to break up for Angel to find the self-confidence and self worth to stand up for himself.

Now the temptation to scream and bitch was almost overwhelming, but she held her tongue. Getting both of them worked up could have devastating results. Not to mention inducing a heart attack could be counter productive.

Angel placed his fork down on the tray and moved it to lie on the other side of the bed. Running his hands tiredly over his face he motioned for Buffy to take a seat on the end of the bed. He was so tired, the meds made him drowsy but their pain relief only lasted so long, so he was feeling very sore at that moment. Tired and sore didn't make him feel very inclined to keep a civil tongue in his head, so talking was probably not a great idea. On the other hand it was probably better to get this out of the way, then they could both go back to living their separate lives. If it wasn't for Faith and Willow, once he was well again he had no problem disappearing from Buffy's life and never returning, if that was what she wanted, and the last he knew that was exactly what she wanted. Despite his past reputation for having masochistic tendencies, he would derive no pleasure in remaining in the presence of someone who clearly wanted him out of their life.

The sad truth however was that he still loved her. Once the numbness had faded the pain of all that had happened had almost buried him alive. He still loved her, but he was no fool; he most certainly didn't trust her, nor did he particularly like her at this moment in time. Taking a deep breath he faced the woman he had once been willing to give up his life to protect.

"What do you think we have to talk about? I think that we've said everything that needed to be said. Although it would have been nice to not to have heard most of it from your little lap dog."

"Angel, that's exactly the point! I haven't said anything!" Buffy replied with an exasperated plea.

"I think you've said enough, more than enough."

"When was the last time we spoke, you and me, face to face. Properly?"

"When I came to Sunnydale, I suppose." Angel scowled not sure where this was going. That hadn't been the most constructive of conversations.

Buffy bit her lip and nodded. "18 months is a long time. A lot can happen..."

Angel cut her off, he in no way wanted hear want was about to come out of her mouth. "Things change, people change, I know this."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Then what did you mean?"

"Things happened..."

"What happened was that you changed, the moment I wasn't prepared to be your pet vampire anymore, and the first opportunity you got you travelled thousands of miles to kill me."

"Is that really what you think of me?"

"Why shouldn't I? It's what happened. All our history aside, the last time I saw you; you made me believe there was a chance and I believed you. But it was a rouse, to get me out of the way, to make me leave. And you know, I'm happy for you, what ever it is you've found, I'm glad. But don't keep lying to me, I'm tired of it."

"Lying to you? I never..." Buffy shook her head in confusion, could he truly believe she was that callous? What had Giles and Andrew said, what had she said, that could make him believe she had been that manipulative?

"Buffy stop it, I'm too old and I've seen to much to keep buying this. You flutter around like you're my 'friend' like you give a damn, when you don't. I can't promise to disappear; we have mutual friends. But as soon as I'm well, I'm gone. So give it a rest coz I don't know who your fooling as it certainly isn't me." Angel panted slightly, he was getting too worked up, and he had to calm down. He'd been out of hospital less than 24 hours and he didn't need this kind of stress.

Despite all her newfound maturity and restraint, Buffy found her control slipping "No you stop it! I DO care! And I never lied to you! And you're not some faultless innocent here! You walked out on me 6 years ago! You're lucky I didn't just kick your ass out of town when you swanned in all self important back in Sunnydale! Instead I told you! I told you I needed to find myself and I have! I NEVER made any promises, and I didn't lie to you, not once!"

"Well congratulations, you found yourself, I happy for you!" Angel sneered, his chest ached and he was beginning to feel dizzy.

Buffy was about to jump in with another retort when she looked at him, really looked at him. He looked like he was in pain; his head was resting back against the headboard, his eyes closed.

"Angel, god, I'm sorry, this was too soon. Damn it, Angel, where're your meds?"

"Nightstand" Came his grunted response.

Pouring a glass of water and passing him two tablets she helped him drink and then settled back on the bed.

"Better?"

Angel nodded; his jaw clenched tight, his lips pursed in a thin line. Despite this the fight had left both of them, replaced with soul deep sadness. They hadn't resolved anything here today, just managed to give each other the wrong impression and open old wounds.

"Buffy, I'm tired, can you just... just go."

Buffy nodded and stood from the bed, he wasn't looking at her so he didn't see the tears shining unshed in her green-grey eyes.

Angel kept his eyes shut until he heard the door click shut behind her. Opening his eyes again he stared up at the ceiling. He shouldn't have lost his temper; he should have remained cool and collected. Now she knew he still cared, another weapon in her arsenal should she chose to use it. He brought his arm up and threw it over his face in a vain attempt to hide the tears, which leaked unbidden from his eyes.

* * *

Buffy walked from Angel's room to her own and threw herself on the bed. She was nearly 24 years old; she wasn't going to cry. But she couldn't help it. Once gain they'd managed to hurt each other without even trying. Why was she trying? When they only seemed to be able to strike blow after blow?

She had to remind herself that it wasn't his fault. That he had believed the lies that Giles and Andrew had fed him. But that was enough for her to want to slap him; if she had believed everything she had heard about him from other people, he would be nothing but dust by now.

Hugging Mr Gordo to her chest as the tears spilled over her cheeks she recited the mantra that had kept her sane over the last five weeks.

"Give him time, give him time, give him time..."

* * *

When Faith and Gunn returned they found Buffy in the kitchen making lunch. During the last month they'd made the old Summer's house more wheelchair friendly so Gunn could come and go as he pleased. Meeting at Angel's old apartment was less than appealing and he didn't feel comfortable having the Scoobie gang descend on his aunt's house. He and Angel had come over a lot since the girls, Xander and Robin had moved in, and with Angel now living here, Gunn was more than happy to make the taxi ride to the other side of LA to hang out with people he now saw as friends. To his mind they were good people, Faith, Robin and Willow especially. He found he had a lot in common with the elder black man and also with Faith. Willow reminded him of Fred at times, Xander he could tolerate, but found his derisive comment towards Angel tiring. Buffy, he was reserving judgement on, Angel was one his, first and foremost, whatever happened with the blonde slayer, his loyalties lay with Angel, its what family was like.

"Hey girl, made enough for two hungry warriors?"

Buffy turned and offered the pair a tired smile. "Sure, I didn't know when you'd be back but I made enough for everyone."

"Whats up B? You look wiped!" Faith said dropping herself in chair at the kitchen table. Wiped didn't describe what the elder slayer looked like. Her face was slightly puffy, her shoulders drooped and her hair was less than its usual, immaculate self.

"I'm ok, just..."

"Just..." Faith prodded.

"I spoke to Angel this morning." Buffy said putting a plate of sandwiches on the table and taking a seat.

"OK why am I sensing this conversation didn't go as planned?" Gunn put in as leaned over and grabbed a sandwich.

"Well we didn't really talk, more like yelled." Buffy said sheepishly, knowing all too well how faith and Gunn would react to that; their over protectiveness towards Angel was almost funny, if you didn't know that Faith could quite easily 'kill whoever so much as makes him fidget'.

"B! The man's just come out of hospital!"

"Are you trying to kill him?"

"He yelled first!" She defended herself, looking between the two now slightly pissed people at the table.

"Not the point girl, my boy doesn't need this kind of stress!"

"Easy charley," Faith placated, "Knowing these two we're lucky it didn't come to blows, but that doesn't mean you should have pushed it, B."

"He wouldn't let me explain, he just kept saying I'd lied to him and..."

"And what? Haven't you? Look at it from his point of view, you know if you'd piled that shit about cookie dough on me then run off with some Italian mystery man, who just happened to have fucked both Darla and Dru six ways from Sunday back in the day. I think I'd be pissed as hell too. Not that I give shit about a couple of vapid vampire whores or ..." Faith frowned realising she was rambling. "look, you know what I mean."

"Yeah girl, what was that shit about cookie dough all about? Sounds like some shit out of one of Cordy's magazines, nothing a guy's gonna understand."

"It makes perfect sense!!" Buffy found herself defending herself once again.

"Whatever, the point is, B, you going in expecting Angel to be like he was back in Sunnydale, where he thought the sun shone outta your ass isn't gonna get you anywhere."

"He said people change,"

"And he's right. I'm gonna go talk to him, take him lunch. It'll work out, B, he's loved since he saw you, and that won't ever change."


	4. Part 4

AN: Mills and Boon publish trashy romance novels. As a statutory guideline to all authors there is no sex before page 75 in any Mills and Boon novel.

Part 4

It had been a full week since Angel had been released from hospital and Buffy and Angel had not spoken since their talk that first morning. Angel slowly made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen; he'd been for his first weekly appointment the day before and had been cleared for minimal exercise, so he was taking every chance he got to escape the confines of his room.

The kitchen was alive with chatter as he entered. Gunn was there again and he, Faith, Buffy and Willow were sat at the large circular kitchen table eating breakfast and talking loudly. Lowering himself into a chair Angel smiled at the kitchen's occupants.

"Morning."

"Hey Angel, sleep well?" Willow asked as Gunn nodded his greeting, and Faith slid the basket of pastries closer to the ex vampire with a smile. The conversation remained light and pleasant although Buffy and Angel never spoke directly to each other or made eye contact. As Angel reached for the Coffee, Faith slapped his hand away.

"Nice try big guy, but no coffee for you, doctors orders." Angel scowled and let out an impressive (for a human) growl.

"Check it out the man can still growl!" Gunn joked cheerily.

"I wonder if he can still purr too?" Buffy added laughingly.

The table descended into silence and Angel's jaw clenched tight. For some reason a conversation he'd had with Faith the week before sprung up in his mind.

**1 Week Earlier**

Angel looked up from his place at the window seat in his room as Faith entered. She was carrying a tray much like Buffy had done earlier that morning, he hoped this conversation would be more pleasant than the one he'd had with other slayer.

"Hey Bear, brought you lunch." Faith said as she put the tray down on the bed and sat herself down beside it so she was facing him. Angel closed the book he was reading around his finger to hold his place and shifted so he was looking at the brunette slayer.

"So what ya reading?" Faith asked lightly.

Angel glanced at the cover of the book then showed it to Faith, looking a little embarrassed.

"Mills and BOON? Oh man you're reading Mills and Boon?"

"It was all that was in the bookcase, all my books are still at the apartment." Angel said in his defence. "And you know, its quite interesting seeing what some people's view of romance is"

"Tell me about it" Off Angel's incredulous look she defended herself "They had some in the prison library ok? I swear every copy was dog eared after page 75."

"Why, what happens after page 75?"

Faith cleared her throat and shifted uncomfortably. "So, heard you and B, had an interesting conversation earlier."

"Not how I would describe it, but yes, we talked, briefly."

"Look Angel, I've stayed out of this coz its really not my business, but here's some free advice. Just let her say her piece ok? At least try and clear the air a little... with you and B, under the same roof but not talking... We all feel it." Faith got up from the bed and moved to leave the room.

"Faith..."

"Look I said I was staying out of this and I am, just hear what she has to say, then if its still bad between you two well..." she trailed off with a shrug before leaving the room, and leaving Angel to his thoughts.

**Present**

Angel cleared his throat stiffly and took swig of his orange juice.

"The doctor recommended I do light exercise, so I was thinking of taking a walk later. Maybe in the park across the street."

"Sounds like plan man, you want some company?" Gunn offered, glad of the change in conversation. Things were always tense when Angel and Buffy were in the same room. This was just the last in a long line of uncomfortable moments between the two. No matter the topic of conversation, someone always managed to stick their foot in it at some point. Gunn knew where his loyalties lay, but he was still rooting for the pair to sort their issues out, he didn't even live with them but the tension was killing him.

"Actually, I was hoping Buffy would come with me." Angel said catching the blonde's eye. Angel wasn't oblivious to the tension nor was he ignorant of how stubborn he was being. Faith was right; they needed to at least clear the air. He could be mature about this; he could deal with whatever she had to say. _'I'm nearly 300 years old for crying out loud, I can face a conversation with a ex-girlfriend, right?'_ He knew in his heart he had to hear her side, then maybe he could move on with his life, no matter what she told him, it was better than spending the rest of his mortal life wondering.

As Angel caught her eye Buffy saw the truth in this invitation, he was giving her the chance to explain. This would be their opportunity to talk, as adults. She wasn't an idiot, they had more issues than could be solved in one conversation, but this was an opportunity to start that process, to at least start talking again.

Offering him a genuine smile, which he didn't return, she agreed.

"I'd like that."

* * *

They walked in silence, their pace slow. If Buffy closed her eyes, they weren't walking through the park opposite her house, in the middle of the day; they were in Restfield, or maybe Sunnyrest, in the early ours of the morning. Things had seemed so complicated back then, but looking back she realised the only thing that made it complicated was them. Issues, insecurities, outside opinions, they all played a part in the huge angst fest that was Buffy & Angel 1999. It hadn't needed to be so confusing, their relationship hadn't been before he'd lost his soul, but afterwards things just went from bad to worse whenever they tried to have a relationship. Angel may have dealt the final blow and called the whole thing off, but they had both played their parts in making each other's lives misery for a year. Hindsight was twenty-twenty and she was sure they both had their regrets, she certainly did.

Was Angel right to leave? She couldn't answer that; if she would have to, she would say yes and no. He'd grown so much as a person since leaving Sunnydale; he had his own friends, his own life. She wasn't blind to the fact that in Sunnydale the only person he had any real contact with was herself. Could he have done that in Sunnydale? No, that she was sure of, necessity had made him reach out to others in Los Angeles, and in the long run it had been much to his own benefit and also to the benefit to those he reached out to. As much as the thought of Angel having any kind of feelings towards Cordelia creeped her out something rotten, she couldn't escape the knowledge of how much the cheerleader had changed before she died. How did she know? Well there was sporadic communication between the two groups, mainly through Willow and Cordelia, but never between Angel and herself after that incident in the police station.

But the separation had hurt, hurt more than she could imagine and more than anyone truly realised. For that reason she could say that he was wrong to leave. At the time his leaving had made her livid with rage, he had made the decision for her, decided what was best for her without her input, but maturity and experience had brought the knowledge that relationships rarely end by mutual agreement, one usually leaves the other, and that was how life was. And maybe she too needed the time apart to grow, to stand on her own two feet without her stalwart knight.

Now things were complicated once again, only now it was Angel who held all the cards, any future they had relied on his acceptance of what she had to tell him. If he could and was prepared to try again then they had a lot of work to do, rebuilding the bond they once shared, relearning trust and forgiving past mistakes on both sides.

And maybe his leaving so long ago wasn't the point any more, it had happened; it was in the past. Where 18 months ago it was the issue that could have prevented her from taking him back, now it was The Immortal that was the issue that could prevent Angel from taking her back. Both things had rational explanations, but both events had hurt the other beyond words. Righteous anger had no place where both were at fault.

That was why Angel's silence was so frustrating.

Glancing over to her silent companion, the differences between him and the man (vampire) she had patrolled Sunnydale with so long ago, were as clear as the daylight that shone down around them.

"So..." Buffy offered, not sure how to start or what to say, she was beginning to think she had misunderstood his invitation.

Angel sighed, it was time; time to hear what he had been avoiding for 7 months, time to learn how the woman he loved, loved another.

"Faith says I should hear you out, I think she's right. So..."

"Where do you want me to start?"

"The Immortal, how did you meet him?"

Running her hand through her hair she kept her eyes front, Angel had the right idea, this was a lot easier if they weren't looking at each other.

"I met him in a club, we danced, he bought me a couple of drinks..." She glanced to see how Angel was taking what she was saying but his face was a neutral mask. That more than anything showed her how far apart they'd grown, she used to be able to read him as easily as any book. "It was like, bam, instant attraction."

Angel nodded but kept quiet, whilst inside he prayed for the strength to hear her out.

"I gave him my number, you know he never gave me his name, I found out he was called The Immortal later, before that I never actually had a name for him. He called me the next day... I knew it was him straight away, I didn't have to ask, it was so weird. So... things went from there."

"Do you love him?"

"What?! No!"

"Andrew told me you did, now don't get me wrong, I'm not some idiot that will believe anything, but Andrew doesn't have the intelligence to make up a lie like that. He'd have to have heard it from some one, or got that impression from somewhere."

"Giles."

"Excuse me?" For the first time Angel's voice betrayed emotion, in this case surprise.

"Giles told him to do what ever he could to make you think I hated you. I know he told you I didn't trust you, you have to know that isn't true."

"I have to huh?"

"Angel, the whole thing with The Immortal, it was a thrall... Willow she figured it out, I had no clue I was under a thrall. She said it was really subtle but really powerful..."

Angel suddenly veered off his path and sat heavily on a nearby bench. His mind was whirling in confusion. She had been under a thrall? Andrew had lied, or had believed what he was saying but it hadn't been true? She hadn't lied or manipulated him? She doesn't love The Immortal... SHE DOESN'T LOVE THE IMMORTAL!

Taking a couple of steadying breaths he tried to calm himself down. Regardless of her not loving The Immortal, it didn't mean she still had any feelings for him. The Immortal had been just one of the many men to pass through her life that had lead Angel to the conclusions he had about her. There had been Riley and Spike too.

Buffy came and sat down beside him, he had yet to show any outward reaction, apart from sitting down, to show that he had even heard what she had been telling him.

"You know how Willow knew there was something wrong?"

Angel shook his head.

"I didn't care... Giles had called us all to London when he heard the rumours about you going bad and I didn't care. Willow told me that clued her in straight away because... No matter what happens or happened when it comes to you I always care."

They sat in silence for a while, Buffy watching Angel and Angel just staring at nothing as he mulled over what he had heard. Swallowing thickly he turned to face her for the first time that afternoon.

"When I went to Sunnydale with the amulet, I never expected anything. I don't mean I didn't hope but, I didn't see it happening, too much had happened." Taking a deep breath he continued. "You gave me hope that there was something still there between us, but then I get one postcard in 8 months then Andrew came... We had a slayer and you sent the most inexperienced and annoying person you had, and I knew, he was looking at it like he was on a rescue mission. You sent someone to rescue someone... from me. You tell me that Andrew lied, but you still sent him... If there was still something between us, why did you send him? Why did you feel that Dana needing rescuing, from me?"

Buffy studied Angel's profile, he was swallowing furiously, like he was swallowing all his hurt and tears so they wouldn't show in his voice, but she caught them. A new wave of fury welled inside her directed at her former watcher; he'd really gone to town to make Angel doubt her.

"I didn't know about Dana until she arrived in England, that's when Giles told me that he'd sent Andrew to LA. He wouldn't have told me at all if I hadn't found out from one of the girls. I don't know exactly what happened with that Angel, but I know, that I trust you, then and now. I don't know what else to tell you to make you believe me."

Angel didn't reply, instead he ran their whole conversation around in his head. When he'd heard what The Immortal had done he'd wanted to reach out and comfort her, instinctively knowing she was more affected by what happened then she let on. But he couldn't do that, not yet. He didn't trust that if he did, she wouldn't just turn her back again, just to return when she needed someone to lean on knowing he would always bend. It was a harsh way to see things but he'd learned a few things in their time apart and that was not to let people treat him like a doormat. As he listened to her talk, to her explanations, he tried to wheedle out any insincerity, but he found none.

"What do you want from me Buffy?"

"I don't... I don't know."

Angel nodded, and decided to lay the cards on the table.

"Neither of us knows what we want, but I do know I can't... so much has happened to me lately, I don't know who I am, who to trust, what to believe, not really, not anymore. I can't just pretend, I don't know what you expect of me, but I have very little to offer right now."

Buffy nodded and bit her lip. This was what she'd been expecting, he was right of course, things had changed and a lot had happened in both their lives.

Angel studied his hands in his lap for moment, bridges were being built here, and Buffy had started her half, it was time he did the same. Maybe things would never go back to what they had been, she'd hadn't said she still had feelings for him, but it didn't mean they couldn't have some kind of civil relationship.

"Are you... How are you coping... with what The Immortal did?"

Buffy was surprised by the question, she hadn't expected him ask it, to be honest no one else really had.

"I'm coping."

"Buffy, what he did... was rape."

"I know, and sometimes it hits me like that, but other times it just feels like a sequence of really dumb one night stands."

"If you need to talk to someone..."

"Are you offering to be my friend, Angel?"

Now Angel smiled and let out a small chuckle. "I guess I am."

Buffy smiled back, it wasn't much, but it was a start.

* * *

Xander sat slumped in the sitting room of the old Summer's house flicking through the channels on the TV. He was tired; he'd been at work since the crack of dawn. There wasn't much out there for one-eyed carpenters, but as it turns out his experience in construction in a seismically unstable place like Sunnydale, meant his he was well qualified in consultancy work. During one interview he'd gone to, the foreman had been impressed with his knowledge on building techniques in high-risk areas, and had recommended him to a friend who ran a firm of building consultants. It had all spiralled from there and after just two weeks back in the US; he'd found himself quite the cushy job. Well cushy except for having to be on site very early in the morning.

Now it was mid afternoon, but he was exhausted. He grunted in response when Gunn entered the sitting room, most of their communication was done in Neanderthal noises, never really having anything to talk about.

Flicking through he came across a news channel and after a second flicked on only to be stopped by Gunn.

"Whoa, back it up!"

"Huh?" Xander grunted but did as told only to find his attention riveted to the screen. After a second he sat bolt upright in his chair and shouted. "Hey guys come look at this!"

It didn't take long for the occupants of the house to assemble in the sitting room. Willow had been in the kitchen with Buffy and Faith discussing Buffy's earlier conversation with Angel, and Angel himself had retreated upstairs to his room after returning, exhausted by the his long walk. Robin was still at work.

Angel was the last to enter the sitting room, having had to take his time on the stairs. He entered to see an on site reporter talking to camera at the mouth of what could be any alley inside the city.

"The three bodies were discovered earlier today by a refuse collectors. Only one of the victims has been identified as 11-year-old Juliet Morse who disappeared from her home almost exactly a week ago. The other two were also young girls whose ages have been estimated at between 9 and 13. Eyewitness reports claim that the victim's bodies were found naked and badly mutilated; police have refused to comment on reports that the bodies were in fact completely hollow. Police are however urging the public to come forward with any information."

Xander turned from the screen to look at the others in the room. "Any body else thinking this is something that would be more at home in Sunnydale?"


	5. Part 5

Part 5

"Any body else thinking this is something that would be more at home in Sunnydale?"

It took a moment before anybody spoke. Gunn was the first, and in a return to previous form, he couldn't resist a playful jibe in Angel's direction.

"You'll be surprised what feels at home in LA, ain't that right man?"

"Hey!" Angel grumbled back good-naturedly.

"You know as much as I hate to say this, this could be the work of plain old human evil." Buffy put in, although it was clear that the concept of a human doing something like this left a sour taste in her mouth. To tell the truth, the thought of anything doing this made her feel queasy, let alone someone with a soul.

"Seen more than enough of that." Gunn muttered under his breath, but Angel caught it and the pair of world-weary warriors shared a look filled with deep knowledge. Their time in the bowels of Wolfram and Hart had made a lasting impression. The firm's human clients, appeared, from the outside to be people who had been led astray by the lure of power provided by demonic evil. But when seen from the inside, the last delusions about the infallibility of the human soul had been shattered. These people may have had demonic connections, but they were evil in their own right.

"Uhh, you guys did catch the part where the corpses were hollow, right?" Willow squeaked in protest.

"OK," Every one turned in Angel's direction as he spoke, "Willow, think you can get in into the coroner's office files?"

"Sure" Willow replied, heading over to her laptop and booting it up.

"OK, find out everything you can about the three girls, where they were found, cause of death, anything."

"On it" Willow called back already focused on the task. Nodding, Angel scribbled something on a note pad, tore off the sheet and passed it to Faith.

"Go to this address, it's a lock up. You'll need to get the key from my apartment first; it's in my desk. Take Buffy with you," He stopped for a moment and took a breath. "There're about 12 crates, near the front, I need you to get them back here."

"Sure,"

"Gunn, they're going to need to get into my apartment, you still have key?" Gunn nodded "Good, go with them, and while you're in the area, track down some of your people, the girls are going to need help with the crates, and your truck,"

"Could see if there's any word on the street about these kids too," Gunn replied

"Good, get on it." Angel said he went into he hall to grab his coat.

"And where do you think your going?" Buffy demanded catching his arms as walked past her.

"I'm going to see an old friend," he returned critically, unable to shake off her grip. By this time Faith and Willow had come up to stand beside Buffy.

"The only place you're going is back to bed."

Buffy had watched as Angel came to life before her eyes. The last month she had borne witness to his determination, driven had barely described his attitude when it came to fighting for his health, but there was always something missing. Some-thing she had only ever seen the last time she had seen him in Sunnydale. Purpose, he had had that kind of confidence that only came from having found a place, a vocation. Since his operation Angel had drifted, it had only been 10 days, yet since leaving hospital he seemed so lost. Now as he spoke, he took control of the group with a confident efficiency that was awe-inspiring. This was a side to Angel that Gunn was obviously used to, but those who had only known him as Buffy's taciturn shadow, did double takes to make sure it was the same man standing with them. But regardless of how awe-inspiring it was, the fact remained that it was still only 10 days since he'd been released from hospital, he'd worn himself out by going for an hour long walk, he was hardly in any condition to traipse around the city, looking up old friends. Buffy was loathed to burst his so recently inflated Bubble, but he needed to rest and heal, her focus was his health, the world be damned, and she was renowned for having the stubbornness of bull terrier when she set her mind on something.

"Excuse me?" Angel started at her, who was she to tell him what to do? Their friendship was new and on incredibly shaky ground, now was not the time for her to throw her metaphorical weight around.

"What part didn't I say in English? You've been out of hospital a week, there is no way in hell you're gonna be doing any more than resting, buddy."

"Buffy..." Angel growled in a low voice.

"No need to get growly, big guy. B's right, you should be in bed and if not in bed, you definitely don't need to be running round. The way I see it, whatever errand you have you can send Xander, now if it's too dangerous for Xander then its too dangerous for you too. Coz of that little thing with you being human." Faith said pointedly. She completely agreed with Buffy on this matter, Angel's health first, crazy psycho, maybe demons second.

Angel scanned the room hoping to find an ally. Much to his annoyance he found none; Gunn merely shrugged as if to say 'don't involve me in this', Xander looked indifferent, and Angel thought he would rather not go anywhere other than back to his seat in front of the TV. Willow's resolve face was clearly in place and Faith and Buffy had already voiced their opinions. Looking at the two slayers he saw there wasn't even any point pleading, he wasn't facing two young women in their early twenties, no, he was facing two of the toughest slayers in history and both looked as if there would be serious repercussions if he didn't back down. His jaw set in annoyance, he scowled at the three women.

"Fine."

"What about your old friend? You wonna send Xan?" Buffy inquired giving Angel a smile that was part apologetic, part relieved and part smug.

"We have a spare computer, I'll email her." He said with a glare, putting slight extra emphasis on the 'her'. It was petty and unnecessary and he knew it. The role of leader, of warrior had come so easily to him. He'd slipped back into the familiar role without even realizing; only he wasn't The Power's champion any more, if he ever was. He was ordinary Joe, with a really screwed personal history and a barely mended heart. He couldn't be that person any more. The melancholy that had been drowning him since being released from hospital returned full force and as irrational as it was, he wanted something to fight back against.

With Xander looking somewhat relived to be left alone, Buffy nodded stiffly to Angel. Angel grumpily made his way into Buffy's father's study, not once acknowledging the others, it was very clear from his posture that he was less than happy to be left behind.

Buffy waited until he had disappeared from sight before letting out a long breath. Willow gave her a sympathetic smile, it wasn't easy to be firm with Angel, it was easy to forget how frail he really was, he seemed to do it all the time.

"Hey Will?"

"Yeah?"

"Makes sure he eats?"

Willow nodded with a smile, which Buffy returned. Faith caught Buffy's eye and with a sigh she, Faith and Gunn left the house.

* * *

In the end it took the combined effort of both the slayers and 6 of Gunn's kids to haul the crates from the lockup into the truck and then from the truck into the sitting room of the old summers house. Karl sat in the cab of Gunn's truck; well it was his truck now. When Gunn had come back to the neighborhood and knocked some sense into his old crew, he had put Karl in as leader. He'd only been in his lower teens back in Gunn's day; he'd witnessed the elder man's leaving and the chaos that followed. He'd been one of the ones who'd crashed Lorne's club, he'd witnessed a lot over the last few years and Gunn had seen how it had matured the once head strong youth into a fine leader and one of the perks of being the leader was the truck. It wasn't like Gunn could drive it anymore.

Now he nodded to his friend and mentor from the cab, a gesture that was returned by the wheelchair-bound warrior. One of the things he'd learned over the last few years was that Gunn hadn't really abandoned them, he'd simply been called to bigger things; he was working not just for his neighborhood but also for the city at large and even the world. Gunn's stories of his adventures with the souled vampire, were considered better entertainment then a trip to the movies, the kids in his crew eager for Gunn to regale them with more. So it was pretty much common knowledge that should Gunn call on someone for help, odds were it was more important than they had the ability to grasp. Now Gunn had asked him, and his people to be on guard, to listen and watch and tell him anything they could about these murders and that's exactly what they'd do.

Gunn watched Karl drive off, years ago that had been him, offering the help of his people to the larger cause, to a vampire with a soul. Now the next generation was protecting the streets of less known parts of LA, and they too were being pulled into a fight hat was so much bigger than them. He wasn't sure how he knew, but there was something about this that set his teeth on edge, what ever was going on with these murders, it wasn't just something small.

Wheeling himself into the sitting room, he saw the girls trying to pry open the crates with crowbars and Angel hovering at the back of the room, probably because the girls had refused to let him do anything. When they had returned, they entered the house to find Willow still sat at the computer, Xander nowhere in sight and Angel sacked out on the couch. No matter how much he protested to the contrary, Angel had the stamina of a two year old at the moment.

Gunn contented himself to watch as the girls laid into the heavy wooden boxes, and was mildly surprised when Willow got hers open first and pulled a large book out of the packing straw, a large and familiar book.

"Hey didn't Wes have that book?" He asked Angel as he wheeled himself closer.

Angel took the book from willow and ran his hands carefully over the cover, a wistful and sad expression covering his face.

"This is Wes'," he said with a sad nod, still almost caressing the leather bound tome. Gunn ducked his head slightly, the mention of their fallen comrades still so raw and painful to the both of them. After he a moment her peered over the side of the crate at the rest of its contents, more books.

"This all his stuff then?"

"Wes', Fred's, Lorne's, Spike's..." _'... Connor's'_ He thought, then reminded himself that Connor's belongings, what he had left of them, were tucked away in the farthest corner of the lock up, protected by spells and glamours, a closely hidden secret.

The three women in the room didn't speak; this was an intensely private moment for the two men. Angel swallowed thickly and laid the book carefully on the table before moving to dig another out of the crate. The others took their cue to continue unpacking the boxes. Soon the sitting room was home to piles of Books, weapons, strange looking mechanical devices that could only have been designed by Fred, and a long leather duster. Angel wasn't sure how the duster had survived the battle, but when he had come back to the alley to find Gunn, he had seen it on the floor; Spike must have shed it at some point during the fight. It wasn't the original one, that had been lost in Italy, but it was nearly the same, a pack of Luckies in the pocket and an antique Zippo lighter. Angel sat down heavily on the couch, simply running the soft leather between his fingers. He and his grand-childe may have never really been close, but Spike was family. During that last battle they had recaptured a bond thought lost for over 100 years, so now the tangible evidence of Spike's demise left the bitter tang of grief as much as Wesley's books or Fred's inventions did.

A tentative hand on his shoulder and the feeling of the couch dipping as someone took a seat beside him shook Angel from his brooding. Clearing his throat in a futile attempt to clear the mist of grief, Angel looked over to who had sat beside him; it was Buffy.

"You ok?"

"Didn't think this would be so hard."

Buffy nodded in understanding, her eyes darting to the leather coat in Angel's grasp. Angel followed her gaze and let out a bitter chuckle before handing the garment to Buffy.

"I think... I know he would have wanted you to have this."

Buffy pulled the duster into her lap and studied it.

"Its not Spike's... his... it umm... there was a tear and this one..." Buffy trailed off realizing what she was saying. She wanted the earth to swallow her right then and there, '_that was brilliant thinking Buffy! Yes just tell Angel how well you know spikes duster, he won't get any inferences from that... no... course not. Can I be more stupid?'_

Angel let out another humorless laugh. "His... got destroyed when we were in Italy, the Rome branch of Wolfram and Heart got him a new one."

"Thank you,"

Angel nodded. "He missed you. He would say things to wind me up, but I knew him, he missed you. But I don't think he knew how to face you."

"Face me?"

"He went out with a bang, would ruin his image he said, if he suddenly turned up not fried."

"Typical Spike." Buffy said with a sad laugh.

"Yeah, typical Spike." Angel searched his feelings trying to work out what he truly felt about Spike since his death. He couldn't muster any anger towards him for sleeping with Buffy, he didn't know the details of the relationship but they didn't really matter. He couldn't begrudge a man in love following his heart and Buffy was so dammed easy to love. His and Spike's issues had stemmed back much farther than one tiny blonde slayer, but 124 years, a dozen or more countries, numerous adventures and battles, two souls and one love later, Angel found himself unable to say with honesty, that he hated Spike. On the contrary, he would admit, if only to himself, that he admired Spike, and some dark part of him still believed that he was only human because Spike hadn't been around to receive it. Spike had been a thorn in his side, a nuisance and a headache for most of the time he'd known him, especially this last year. But while Spikes death on the hellmouth hadn't really seemed all that real, his turning to dust in front Angel in the midst of the most intense battle he'd ever fought was more than real enough. Spike was dead and Angel grieved for him as much as he grieved for all his fallen friends. And as he grieved their issues dissipated to dust much like his grand-childe had done.

His issues with Buffy however, were as real and as painful as ever and the reminder of her affair with his blonde grand-childe was a slap in the face. But he held is tongue, he didn't know all the facts and for now he was happy in his ignorance, knowing the truth would probably break him.

The whole room had watched the exchange with interest, even Xander who had been at the store and had only returned minutes earlier, was hooked in on the two ex-lovers. It was much to their relief to see the tension that had surrounded the pair, even if not gone, was less. It was going to make for much easier living conditions.

Angel looked up and realized they were center of attention, every one quickly got back to sorting out the piles of belongings, all except one. Gunn hadn't been concentrating on the pair; he had something clasped in his hands, a rabbit soft toy. Angel stood from the couch and walked over to his friend and sat on the rim of one of the crates opposite the other remaining member of Angel investigations.

"Figganbaum"

"Yeah. Fred never slept without it. Where'd you get it?"

"Wes's apartment, he had a lot of Fred's stuff moved there, after... I'm sorry, We needed the books and weapons, I just... when I packed everything up I just threw it all in boxes... I didn't think..."

Gunn nodded, "s'ok man... Thanks... for keeping it."

Angel sighed; this was hard for both of them, old memories, past ghosts, brought to life through tattered remains.

"You should keep it, I know how much Fred meant to you."

"I don't deserve it."

"Not for you to decide." Angel said knowingly and Gunn grinned. _'Never argue with the king of guilt about guilt... hey maybe that should be another saying from uncle Theo...' _

"So... "Gunn said eventually, after pocketing the rabbit. "We get this stuff for a reason or did you just feel like an extra dose of angst today?"

"Uh, yeah, my books, Wes's books, all the stuff from the Hyperion. I figured we could try and find something that sounds like these murders."

"So... research... damn Wes'd be bummed to miss this, I think he was really starting to miss old school researching."

Angel laughed.

* * *

It took hours but they eventually had all the boxes sorted through and all the stuff that wasn't being kept at the house re-boxed up and ready to go back to the lock up. Cordelia's laptop, all of the books and all of the weapons were now the only things in the sitting room. Angel had taken some personal things, paintings, sculptures and photographs up to his room, Buffy had found a cardboard box, which Gunn had filled and left in the hallway. Willow had found three orbs of thesula and hadn't been able to hold back her mirth when Angel had explained that Wesley had, on occasion, been known to be paranoid. She'd kept them saying it was for old times sake, although she hoped she'd never have to use one again, ever, a sentiment that was shared by all the rooms occupants. Out of Cordelia's belongings Willow, Buffy and Xander found things to link them back to their childhoods. A Sunnydale High yearbook, photographs from the prom and other group outings, things they thought they'd never see the likes of again, since the destruction of Sunnydale.

With the room clear, the group settled down to serious research; every one grabbing books, except willow who returned to the computer and Gunn who booted up Cordelia's in the hope of finding some of her more useful links. That was how Robin found them, when he walked in through the door, close to 8 o'clock that evening.

"OK, I think I would have noticed if the world was ending."

Faith jumped up from her chair and caught Robin's hand. Dragging him to the couch she shoved a book in his hand and pushed him down on the sofa.

"Not the end of the world, but three murdered girls,"

"We know it's a demon?"

"Pretty sure. We couldn't find out a lot, but the bodies were hollowed out, have to wait till tomorrow for the Autopsy reports." Willow replied, looking up from the book that was laid out in front of her. When she'd found that the autopsies hadn't been done yet, she had moved away from the computer to more traditional research.

Things progressed in silence after that, each person concentrating on their own text. Occasionally the silence was broken by someone thinking they found something of relevance, but after a couple of hours it was clear that although there was a lot of information that could be related to the murders, they hadn't enough detail to narrow it down.

It was well past midnight when a not so usual sound broke the rooms concentrating silence. Some one was snoring, loudly. It started with a snort, then became the low nasal sound that could only be made by someone asleep in a not too comfortable position. Looking up from her book Buffy glanced over at the source of the sound, Angel.

"Guess someone's up past his bedtime" Faith commented with a yawn, from her place snuggled up to Robin.

"Not the only one, obviously." Gunn retorted, Angel's abrupt snorting had woken him from a more inaudible slumber.

"I think its time we called it a night, guys. We're not getting any where fast with this." Buffy put in as she uncurled herself from the couch. Stretching she tried to un-crick her stiff back.

"Think we should wake him?" Willow asked as she too stood and stretched.

"He'll have one hell of a bad back tomorrow if we don't, Red."

Buffy being closest, she lent over and shook Angel gently. It took a few attempts but Angel eventually came awake with a start.

"Wha...?"

"Hey sleepy head, time for you to get your ass to bed." Faith called over Buffy's shoulder.

Angel staggered to his feet and slowly followed the others up the stairs leaving the couch to Gunn.

After they had all said their goodnights Angel collapsed into his bed and was asleep before his head hit the pillow. His last conscious thought was that it had been a really long day.

The world had changed so much since the last time it was needed. Now the humans were more numerous, and they were more curious. Before they had feared the shadows, now they explored them. It didn't like having its work disturbed.

It knew from past experience that it had to stay away from humans unless it was doing the task for IT. So now that its dumping ground for the waste left over from the task had been discovered, it had to find a new one. This would take time, but time was of the essence.

* * *

IT was angry, IT needed feeding, but it couldn't feed IT because it was looking for a new dumping ground.

It wasn't used to being frustrated, but that's what it was.

From the shadows, it watched as the humans in strange white clothes, crawled all over its dumping ground. Had it had a voice, it would have huffed at the inconvenience, had it had a face it would be scowling. It had neither, but had a passer by been looking and had the ability to see shadows within shadows, they would have sworn the Shadows at the mouth of that alley looked indignant.


	6. Part 6

Part 6

The next morning Willow managed to get the autopsy reports, but even with them, two days of continual research had brought no more leads as to what had killed the three girls. They were however, more sure than ever that it was the work of something demonic.

The pictures Willow had downloaded were horrific; despite all the horrors he had witnessed, Angel still found himself tempering the urge to vomit at the site of them. The girls had been found naked, their bodies almost torn in two by a ragged split that ran from heart to naval. The skin on their faces was badly burned around the their mouths. The reports had described it as though someone had poured burning petrol down their throats, the flames destroying all of the flesh inside their mouths, noses and down to their stomachs; that is if they had any stomachs left. All of their organs from the neck down were gone. Had that been all, it could easily have been the work of a very disturbed human being, but it wasn't all. The first real clue was the victim's skin. It was solid, almost as if it had been frozen but it wasn't cold. The description had read 'as liken to a fibre glass shell' an imagery that had been disturbing for all, but had upset both Angel and Gunn greatly. The other clue had been the wound on the victim's torso's; on close inspection it turned out not be a knife would or any other kind of entry wound as commonsense would dictate, but an exit would, like something had forced its way out of the bodies after they'd died.

Despite all this detail they hadn't enough to narrow down the search. So they were still looking, cross referencing and compiling everything they could, in the hope that eventually something would match, before it was too late for any more young girls.

Angel shifted uncomfortably on the couch. Although he wasn't very mobile for the time being, being sat in one place for long periods of time wasn't at all comfortable. He felt better everyday, he was pretty sure that without the meds he would be bouncing with energy, although without the meds he knew he would probably pass out from the pain; even with them, he ached a lot. As uncomfortable as he was he couldn't bring himself to stop researching, more than once he'd leapt from the couch to grab another book, so he could compare what he'd read. His own collection he was pretty familiar with, but Wesley's collection, although similar in size, was mostly new territory, it would take some time for him to familiarise himself with their content.

Like a bolt from the blue it hit, he wanted to do this; he could quite easily see himself doing this. It wasn't a profession, true enough, he would still have to find a way to pay the bills and be self sufficient, he couldn't rely on the money from Wolfram and Hart and his soulless days forever, the mere thought of it gave him the heebies. But he wanted to be useful, he couldn't fight, he didn't need some battle where he got his ass handed to him to know that, he'd already done that on the day he'd had reversed. _'Bad thoughts, not going there, not thinking about that.'_ Wesley had once chided his impatience, telling him the merits and feeling of accomplishment that came form the research side of their work, could he do that? Could he sit back and not get his hands dirty as his friends went out and fought? No probably not, Wesley certainly hadn't, but he'd played to his strengths.

Despite what some people said about him, Angel knew he was far from stupid; impulsive maybe, rash, quite often and prone to fits of rage and temper, definitely, but stupid? No, far from it. It was one of the things his father had berated him for so long ago, his father never liked to be out witted, so he belittled him for his love of books and foreign languages. Calling such pursuits womanish, even hinted he suspected his son of being a homosexual, because of his desire to draw and read poetry. So he'd learned to hide his more academic loves and had pushed himself to be a real man, or his father's interpretation of what a real man was. Sadly he'd gone to the extreme, hence the womanising and drunkenness. From the age of 17 onwards he hadn't really looked at a book, or even drawn that much, funny how he had to loose his soul to become interested in more soulful pursuits.

And many modern scientific concepts baffled him, but he rightly attributed that to living in isolation while the world around him moved on. While the young people around him mocked him for his lack of understanding of technology and science, they failed to see that they had grown up with it. He had grown up in an age where a machine was a water wheel driven mill, where gravity was still a startlingly new concept, and although people knew the world was round, they still believed that god was the centre of the universe. Come the industrial revolution, technology and science had moved on at much the same pace it did now, perhaps a little slower but not much. He may have been a soulless rampaging demon at the time, but he'd kept up with the changing world. Had he been a completely clueless dolt, he would still cower in terror at the sight of a steam train. No his problem was isolation, every advance made between 1970 and 1996, and granted there were many, had passed him by. Venturing out into society after nearly thirty years of seclusion had been a shock to the system, was it any wonder he hadn't been able to adapt that fast?

All this internal reassurance of his own intelligence brought him back to his original thought. Was he more than muscle that could no longer fight? As a vampire he certainly had the brawn, but now what he needed was the brain. Maths, science and technology aside, he knew he had a pretty analytical mind, even if it was prone to flights of romantic fancy once in while. He also had 250 years worth of experience and demonic life knowledge. Was he really considering this, taking on the role akin to that of a watcher? Now that was an amusing thought, Angelus the scourge of Europe, eldest survivor of the house of Aurelius, now human and thinking about becoming a watcher. No, not a watcher, watchers were dirty words in old Summer's house. But a researcher, a guide and dispensary of knowledge. '_god make it sound like you want to be the latest edition of Encarta why don't you?'_

The fact of the matter was that this was something he felt he could do. He didn't know what the others were planning, but he knew Faith and Robin were making plans to set up a permanent home in LA, he also knew that Faith was itching to return to the proper routines of slaying, having patrol routes and doing the job she was destined to do. So surely having someone stand in a watcher's capacity would be useful. And that was the heart of the matter; he'd been too much a part of this world for too long, he couldn't just forget it existed.

Angel sighed and tiredly rubbed his eyes. Looking down at his book and then at his watch he realised he'd spent the last hour or so thinking instead of reading. As important as what he had been thinking about was, these girls were more so. He would talk to Faith later, or perhaps wait until this was over, for now he had a demon to find.

* * *

By early afternoon the Scoobies were hungry and cranky. The lack of success was beginning to wear on the already frayed patience's of the group. Every one wanted to resolve this, and quickly, the threat of more deaths hanging heavy in the air. Angel, knowing he had to do his daily exercise, offered to walk to a nearby café and bring back lunch. None of the girls liked the idea of Angel venturing very far on his own, it was incredibly frustrating for someone who had spent the better part of over 100 years completely alone, but the girls had their reasons and they were good ones. Not two weeks after major heart surgery there was always the risk of him having difficulties and they felt better if he had someone with him. Buffy, eager to escape the tedium of research and also wanting a chance to talk to Angel, quickly agreed to go with him.

That was how it was that the pair found themselves walking at a leisurely pace, through the streets of one LA's better suburbs. They were shrouded in silence, but unlike the other times, the silence was comfortable. Angel cast the occasional glance Buffy's way, she seemed thoughtful.

"Whats up?"

"What?"

"You looked like you were having deep thoughts, so I wondered if you needed a friendly ear." Angel did a mental double take, it wasn't so long ago he could barely stand to be in the same room as the blonde, yet here he was offering a listening ear for the second time in a week.

"Dawn called."

Angel frowned, he'd often wondered about the younger Summers over the last month. Buffy hadn't mentioned her and neither had any of the others, which he found extremely odd. He hadn't raised the issue and to be honest there weren't many topics of conversation that would lead to any discussion of the teenage brunette. He assumed she was till living in London, but now thinking about it, he had a hard time believing that Buffy would leave her younger sister in the care of man who had betrayed her.

"Problems?"

"Oh Yeah..." Sighing, Buffy ran her hand over her face. "We had a huge fight back in July. She wanted to go to college in New York, I wanted her to go to college somewhere closer, like England closer... plus with her having residency she would get this financial help thing they have over there. There was no way I could afford for her to go to college in New York. So she said she would ask Dad for help..."

"And you didn't want her to?"

"YES! NO!... Dad hasn't been a part of our lives for so long, I didn't want her to track him down only to tell her he wouldn't pay... Plus, I didn't want her too far away."

"What happened?"

"She tracked him down, he agreed, and Dawn flew out to New York in August, we haven't spoken since."

"Until today?"

"She never gave me her new number but Willow had her email address. So when we decided to stay here after everything with Giles, I wrote to her."

"And she's only now got back to you"

Buffy nodded and they continued walking in silence. Angel didn't like that there was that much animosity between the sisters, he'd always been fond of Dawn. The thought that they hadn't spoken in nearly 4 months was disturbing. After a little while Angel spoke again.

"What did she say?"

Buffy let out a heavy sigh. "She wants to talk, she's still mad at me, but she wants to talk. I think with everything with Giles... and you. I think she wants to check up on everybody... you know Dawn."

Angel had to chuckle, his memories of Dawn were of a very sweet and caring young girl not even in her teens, but perpetually worried about other people. In that last year in Sunnydale where Buffy had told her family about her slayerness and his vampirisms, Dawn had been a poster child for curiosity, constantly asking questions. But she had also asked him why he was so sad all the time; that alone had tugged his heartstrings and made him protective of the tiny child.

"She can't come to LA for a while, but she's gonna keep in touch by email and the phone, so its progress." Buffy continued after a second.

"I'm sorry things are bad between you two."

Buffy turned and smiled, it was such an Angel thing to say.

"Thanks."

They continued in silence until they reached the café. After placing their orders and paying they started their leisurely walk back. Well for Buffy it was leisurely, but the café was further away than she remembered and Angel was struggling. They'd been out over an hour by now, twice as long as his daily recommended time. Deciding that she had to take his mind of his increasing fatigue until they reached the house, she searched for a neutral topic of conversation.

"So... You seemed deep in thought earlier, you know... when we were supposed to be researching but you were just staring into space... something on your mind?"

"I was thinking about the future."

"The future... In the 'gee heck wouldn't it be cool if we all had hover cars in 50 years' way or something closer to home?"

"Closer to home." Angel chuckled.

"Feel like sharing?" Buffy probed.

Angel didn't answer for a while. He wasn't sure he wanted to discuss it just yet. It was such a new idea and he wasn't sure Buffy wouldn't laugh at him for it. Thinking about it, he decided it was better that someone laugh sooner rather than later.

"I was thinking about what we do and what I can do... now that I'm..."

"Human?" Buffy cut in.

"Yeah"

"So... What do you want to do?"

"I'm not sure, but I... want to keep helping... I can't fight... but maybe I can..."

"Put that huge brain and all those years of being a watcher's worst nightmare to good use?" Off Angel's startled look she explained. "OK, so what you were going to do may have come up as a topic of conversation once or twice."

"Yet never with me?"

"We weren't exactly on the best terms and I think the others didn't want to insult you by implying that you couldn't fight any more."

"I can't"

"Angel... Xander, Robin, Gunn, they all still fight in their own way. So you don't have super strength, but that wasn't all you ever had to offer. And you know, all that training will count for something... but only when your well again, no getting it into your head you can go off and stake vampires on your own ok?"

"I already figured that one out on my own, thanks."

"Geeze when did you get sensible?"

Angel bit his tongue; he was deadly tempted to say things he knew he would regret. Like 'when a mohra demon handed me my very human ass', or 'when I lead all my friends to their deaths for nothing'. Instead he kept quiet.

Buffy floundered in the wake of Angel's silence, believing he had taken great offence at her off hand quip.

"Sorry that was uncalled for..."

"No... you're right, I haven't always been very sensible, and I've made bad choices... a lot of them. I just don't want the one I make now to be a mistake too. I couldn't bare it if I wound up being responsible for more deaths."

Now Buffy held her silence, it had been a running battle the last month between Angel and others over the issue of the fall of Wolfram and Hart. Gunn insisted that Angel's plan had been a good one, a spectacular one even, he also made the point of saying that they could have backed out at any time if they hadn't thought so. The fact was none of them went into the battle thinking they would survive yet two of them had, seemed to pass Angel by. Angel was the king of guilt, but no one could understand why he was so adamant that it was his fault they all died. They'd had to agree to disagree on the issue; otherwise they'd never talk about anything else.

"I think you'd be a great unofficial watcher type." Buffy said reassuringly after a moment, then she frowned, "That is, if it was what you were thinking about... I sorta assumed and..."

"Thank you."

Buffy smiled and looped her arm through his, "So does this mean your gonna start wearing tweed?"

"No!" Angel replied laughingly.

"Could you at least get glasses? Coz you know, nothing screams knowledge and Authority like constantly cleaning your glasses." Buffy suggested with mock seriousness.

"Buffy!!" Angel gasped around another snort of laughter, "You know, Wesley would be insulted, I don't think he ever wore tweed, and you know he looked great after getting contacts."

"Define great..."

"He had nice eyes."

"You know, that's worrying... You should not be noticing that your male friends have nice eyes."

"Don't tell me you never thought, hey willow has nice hair or..."

"No fair using logic!" Buffy pouted, causing Angel to laugh once again.

The pair continued back to the house exchanging easy banter, Buffy's arm still looped through Angel's. It had been an instinctual action but after she'd done it, she tensed for him to break free. Even though they had sort of agreed, on a kind of friendship, Angel kept himself very much to himself. He never made any physical contact, and always appeared to keep a safety distance. Buffy didn't think he knew he was doing it, but it clued her in to just how badly the events Giles had orchestrated had hurt him. How the events with the Immortal, had hurt him. Loosing his friends was also a big contributor to a lot of recent depressive brooding marathons, but he had no problem hugging Faith, or playfully clipping Gunn round the back of the head or just making physical contact in some small everyday way, with any of the others. But with her, there was safety distance, and carefully thought through words.

But that was changing; he'd made no move to pull away. She could partly credit it to the fact that he was leaning on her ever so slightly, the toll of the long walk beginning to show, but that he was willing to accept her help at all, was a step in the right direction.


	7. Part 7

Part 7

Angel scowled. There was something niggling him. He was sat up in bed, a few books and the all the information on the three girls Willow could gather over the net, spread out in front of him. While he and Buffy had been out getting lunch, the identities of the other two victims had been released to the public, along with another plea for information and most tragically of all, the discovery of a fourth body. The news had left every one disheartened and shocked, until someone, he couldn't remember who, had mentioned that it was just going to keep happening. That had been the stroke of incentive they all and needed and they'd hit the books with a fervour like never before.

It was now gone midnight and he'd been sat studying the files for well over an hour. The walk earlier had tired him out and the girls had quite categorically shooed him off to bed as soon as he let out his first yawn. He fought of course, and that was how he still ended up in bed, but also had books and files to keep working. He had to admit he was more comfortable, the couch was giving him a bad back; lord knew how Gunn slept there every night since they started the research quest.

Rubbing his eyes tiredly he scanned the open file once again. He'd had Willow pull everything she could on these girls, luckily two had gone to the same school, so that marginally reduced the a mount of hacking Willow had to do. But it also ruled out one thing that all three, now four, had in common, apart from their age and their untimely death, that is. There had to be something, something that had made them targets out of all the other people in the city. Angel found himself wishing for the resources at Wolfram and Hart, but quickly dismissed the thought, those resources had come at too high a price.

There had to be a connection, and at the back of his mind Angel felt that maybe he'd already seen it, but he couldn't place where. All four girls were aged between nine and twelve, and were prepubescent; three had been found in an alley, the fourth in Griffin Park. Two had gone to the same school, the other two had lived on opposite ends of the city. The differences kept on going; they were different heights, builds and from different ethnic and social backgrounds.

Flicking through the numerous printouts in one girls file, he scanned each page before moving to the next, until he stopped. There it was again, that sensation that he'd missed something, something important. Turning back the previous page he found himself faced with a report from a school guidance councillor. He read the report carefully making sure not to miss a detail.

Throwing the covers off, Angel dressed quickly and grabbing up the three files, he headed downstairs. He had his connection.

* * *

Xander was dreaming, it was a nice dream and it was a hell of a lot better than reality, where he knew he was in fact, sacked out on the couch book probably now on the floor, after hours of tireless researching. By god was he jealous that Angel had the girls insisting he go to bed. But sadly he wasn't recovering from heart surgery so, no he didn't get special reprieve from the books. At least no one seemed to be in hurry to wake him up, and wasn't it strange that he knew he was asleep and knew he was dreaming, weird.

It was the sound of Angel's frantic entrance that jolted him from his cosy dream world.

"GHOSTS!"

The entire room jumped at Angel's out burst and entrance.

"Why aren't you in bed?" Buffy scolded firmly, but Angel ignored her and moved over the couch and sat down, spreading the files across the coffee table.

"The connection is ghosts"

Somewhat groggily the rest of the group gathered closer, waiting not so patiently for Angel to explain.

"Ok man, ghosts, and you know this because...?" Gunn said, trying to pull the information out of the ex vampire. Angel smiled, a cocky self assured smile and pointed to one of the files.

"Toya Williams, 2 years ago, had a psychotic episode where she collapsed on a school field trip to a Native American burial ground, she claimed to have been attacked by Indians."

Pointing to the next file he made sure he still had everyone's attention.

"Juliet Morse, 3 years ago, 6 months ago and 2 weeks ago, the day before she went missing, ran screaming from a room seemingly terrified of shadows. She even told a school nurse that the shadows talk to her."

"Willamina Onyemachi, has for the last 6 years claimed that her imaginary friend is in fact her late grandmother, she only started having an imaginary friend the day after her grandmother died, a grandmother she's never met because she lived and died in Nigeria."

"So what, your saying that all the victims were psychic?" Faith put in, mildly confused.

"No, not psychic," Willow spoke up and then looked to Angel to see if she was right, when he nodded she continued "But they have a connection to the dead. A link with the nether realms, so to speak."

"OH hey!!" Xander said excitedly, scrambling around for the book he had been reading. "I saw that... here! Tolezar... an ancient beast of darkness... umm... finds its power through a minion... who feeds on the seers of the dead."

"Sounds like our guy, or are we looking for the minion?" Buffy cast a look back and forth between Xander and Angel, as they seemed to have all the information.

"Can I see that?" Angel asked, reaching for the book. Once he had it, he studied the text in front of him for a second before looking at Buffy, his expression very serious and not a little concerned "We need to find both... and soon would be good."

* * *

With the name of the demon in their grasp the information soon began to pile up. Faith and Buffy were itching to go out and kill it; the only problem was no one knew where it would be. With every new titbit of information, the realisation that they needed a quick resolution was ever more apparent.

What they knew, painted a grotesque future-scape of death and destruction. Tolezar was powerful and old, not quite an old one, but close. He slept beneath the city, waking only once every few centuries in order to feed, and each time he fed he tried to gain enough power to rise. He couldn't feed himself however, so he used a minion, and it was here that the information seemed to run out. There were no pictures, no descriptions, not even a clue as to whether there was more than one. What ever the minion was, it was pretty clear that it had been what had killed the girls, and the race was on to find it and stop it before it killed again, and before Tolezar rose.

The sun was peaking over the horizon and the faint twilight drifted through the sitting room window, alerting Willow to the late hour. Stretching stiff muscles, she pushed away from the computer and glanced around the room. Xander had retreated upstairs shortly after Angel had announced his breakthrough, no one commented, he was one of only two people in the house that actually worked. The other employed member of the group was fast asleep in an armchair, Faith curled up his in lap, her head tucked into the crook of his neck, looking more innocent and young than Willow had ever seen her. Gunn was asleep on the couch, and glancing at the space in front of it, Willow smiled. Angel was the only one still awake; he was sat with his back to the couch, one knee bent up, deeply engrossed in the book he was reading. But what made the scene so unusual yet so heart warming, was Buffy, she had fallen asleep and had drifted sideways; so she was now resting her head on his shoulder, it was like looking into the past.

Moving as quietly as she could Willow crossed the room and sat down beside the ex vampire. Angel looked up as she sat, offering her a tired smile.

"Hey."

"Hey"

"You ok?" Willow asked before Angel could return to his research, keeping her voice low in order not to wake the rooms sleeping occupants. Angel closed the book, marking his page with a sheet of notepaper and looked at the redhead.

"I know, I know. I shouldn't strain myself, but really I'm fine." Angel replied his voice equally quiet. Willow raised her hands in supplication, she knew that their constant mothering made him uncomfortable, problem was, without it they all knew he would push himself too far, too fast.

"Any progress?" Willow offered as a change of subject, but since he hadn't said anything, knew there wouldn't be much if anything.

"Nothing we didn't already know." After a beat Willow nodded, and simultaneously Buffy grumbled in her sleep, snuggling closer to Angel's side. Willow couldn't stop the grin spreading across her face.

"She seems very comfortable there."

Angel turned and looked at the blonde head resting on his shoulder. He'd been so hurt and so defeated not so long ago, that a scene like this would have disturbed him. But the more time he spent with Buffy the last couple of days, the more old feelings were yelling for his attention. Not only that, but he found himself willing to believe her, to trust her. Did that mean he wanted to start something with her all over again? He wasn't sure, she hadn't said she still loved him, she'd said that she still cared, but not love. Then again neither had he, add to that the myriad of issues they still had unresolved between them. Old resentments that could destroy anything before it even started, her inconsistent treatment of him after his return form hell, his leaving, Parker, the day that wasn't, Riley, Faith, Spike, Darla, Nina, god the list was endless.

They'd already started the process; they'd talked a few times the last couple of days. And he realised that was something they'd never really done, talked as friends. Their relationship in the past had been fire, passion, love and pain. No trust, no friendship, not really. So now the friendship was there, it was only a week, maybe less since that had happened but it was bright and new and refreshing. All that was left was the trust, and that had to be relearned, on both sides.

"I didn't have the heart to wake her." Angel said softly, not turning to face the redhead, but she heard any way.

"You still love her." Now Angel did turn to face Buffy's best friend, a scowl spreading across his brow.

"Willow.."

"Just listen. When Buffy had to kill you I never understood what she was going through, then all theses years later I lose Tara and I finally understand. I would give anything to have Tara back, but I thank goddess that we made up before she died, because if I had to spend the rest of my life not knowing... you've both died and come back but you still don't get it. If she dies tomorrow you'll never know IF. Can you spend a mortal life time living with IF?"

Angel turned back to gaze at Buffy's sleeping form. Willow gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze before standing to leave. She was almost out of the door when Angel's soft call halted her progress.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do you want us back together? You're her best friend... after everything I've done, all the hurt..."

"Because I miss Buffy." Angel looked her strangely, so she explained. "The Slayer stayed in Sunnydale for seven years Angel. But Buffy left when you did."

* * *

Angel sat watching Buffy sleep for what seemed like hours. His talk with Willow gave him a lot to think about. He new about Tara, over the last weeks he'd learned a lot about hr events in Sunnydale since he left, the more personal things, things he hadn't heard through rumour and gossip in the demon world. To learn that Willow had been the rage driven which that had terrorised the town for those short few days was should have been a shock, as should have been learning she had killed a man. But having met her vampire self he wasn't surprised. The darkness that the once shy and introverted hacker was capable of was more than evident in her vampiric, leather-clad doppelganger. The circumstances that had lead to its revelation were heart wrenching though. The three of them now shared a common bond, he, Willow and Faith. Recalling Buffy's words from her brief and painful visit seeking vengeance on Faith, he realised that they now had a third member in their club. And although it was nice to have people that understood, he was still grateful that Buffy was not a member, that she had retained that last shred of innocence.

But that was probably the only innocence she had left, the world and her duty had taken its toll, he'd have to be blind not see it. She wasn't a naïve teenager any more, and even back then she hadn't really been. But he felt like he'd grown up too; looking back, his time in Sunnydale seemed like a painful second adolescence, learning to live and love for the first time. Like an adolescent he'd had to work out how society worked, what was expected and what was not. How to interact with people, hadn't Doyle said it _'High School's over, boy. It's time to make with the grown up talk'_. He'd left Sunnydale and he'd had to do what Liam never had, he'd had to grow up.

So here they were, two world weary warriors, one old before her time and the other far older than he looked; both heart sick, both alone and if what Willow inferred was true, both still in love.

Taking a deep breath he dropped all the walls that guarded his heart and just felt, for the first time in years. All the hurt and the pain, all the miscommunications and mistrust, he just let go and it was if it was a lifetime away. He let his head rest on top of hers, the smell of her hair, the feel of her so close, and was in the moment. He could feel it like ribbons of finest lace, like a coil of multi-coloured smoke from sandal wood incense, infusing his system, healing old wounds, a balm to his ever weary soul.

There would be time for everything else later. His heart was tattered and torn, as was hers, but maybe they could heal together. He'd told her he had nothing to offer, but it wasn't about what he had to offer by himself, but what they could create together, if she was willing to try. But for now he was in the moment, content to just be.

The sound of someone descending the stairs finally broke the perfect moment. Lifting his head, Angel scrubbed his face tiredly; a part of him berated himself for being so selfish, for worrying about personal issues when there was an evil demonic 'thing' slaughtering young girls all over the city. But another part of him, the selfish part, wanted to get himself sorted, to resolve the countless issues clouding his thoughts, before he even thought about anything or anybody else.

The clink of porcelain alerted him the presence at the door to the room. Looking up he saw it was both Xander and Willow, he'd had no idea it was that late, he knew Xander worked Saturdays, but only a couple of hours and he had to be in the office at 9, So it had to be close to 7am. Willow cast the pair a smile and crossed the room to put the tray covered in cups of tea and coffee on the coffee table. Leaning forward, Angel quickly cleared files and book s out of the way for Willow. The movement woke Buffy, who grumbled groggily. Willow and Angel both turned to look at the sleepy blonde and smiled.

"Morning" They said in unison, causing them both to chuckle.

"uhhhggg already?" Buffy blinked a couple of time then frowned at Angel "Why do I get the feeling you haven't been to bed?"

"Because I haven't?"

"ANGEL!" Buffy scolded a little too loudly jerking Gunn form sleep behind them. Spooked from sleep, he momentarily forgot his recent affliction and tried to sit up using now nonexistent legs, and collapse awkwardly onto the couch.

"Aghhhmmmfpt, dammit"

"You ok Gunn?" Angel asked worriedly "need a hand?"

"Nah, man, I'm cool." Levering himself upright, this time on his arms, he moved to the end of the couch, but stopped and frowned. "Where the hell is my chair?"

As Xander, who had been stood in the doorway drinking his coffee, unfolded Gunn's chair and parked it where the once street kid had left it; Buffy turned back to Angel with a deep frown.

"What part of looking after yourself did you miss?"

"Buffy..." Angel went to argue his case, but before he could, Willow fished in her pocket and began to line up a row of small bottles in the table. Seeing all his meds lined up before him, Angel closed his mouth with an audible click. He was loathed to admit it, but being sat on the floor all night had made him ache all over, and he was feeling slightly short of breath; fatigue, the doctor had warned him. The medication for the pain made him drowsy, but he'd fought it, deciding to live with the onset of pain rather than drift off to sleep. He usually took his meds in private and now it looked like he'd been caught out and they were going to make sure he took them. He was being silly about it, he knew, but he wanted to be useful and for the last couple of days he felt truly alive and he didn't want the feeling to end.

Looking at the bottles he sighed, this was his life, true there was only one bottle he would be familiar with the rest of his life, the just in case medication. The others were postoperative meds, painkillers (three different kinds), drugs to lower the risk of thrombosis (which heart surgery patients were susceptible to) and others to counter act the side effects of the pain medication, well all the side effects except drowsiness.

Seeing how uncomfortable this was making him, Buffy and Willow backed off, each reaching for their coffees. Angel picked two bottles, tipped a couple of pills from each and washed them down with the juice Willow had brought out with the coffees. He knew they worried, and their over protectiveness was heart warming most of the time. But now he had started to make real decisions about his future, it was disheartening to be treated like an invalid. But he wasn't going to prove he wasn't if he didn't start behaving like the grown up he professed to be.


	8. Part 8

AN: In olden times (don't ask for dates, coz I don't know), young boys were castrated so they could sing the higher vocal ranges, that's were the term castrato in music comes from.

AN: I DO NOT KNOW ANY LATIN! So for the spell words I used an online translator, if anyone speaks Latin and what's there is gibberish, I'm sorry.

Part 8

Gunn stared at the scene in front of him, filled with barely contained rage. It was Sunday afternoon, he'd received the call on his cell just after lunch and had excused himself from Scoobies, called a cab and headed over to the other side of LA to meat Karl, who said he was desperately needed back home. He could hear it in Karl's voice, he knew he was going to see a body, but he never expected what he saw.

Swallowing stiffly and without taking his eyes from the corpse he spoke. "What happened."

The sound of shuffling feet, and the distant sound of one of the younger gang members still retching, outside was his only reply.

"I ain't gonna ask again"

Karl cleared his throat; he hadn't been in charge all that long and this was the most gruesome thing he had ever seen.

"Some neighbourhood kids said they found a nest, we went to check it out."

"And?"

"We get there, no teeth but the place had a vibe you know?" When Gunn nodded he continued. "We was about to head back, when Lee says he sees something and just takes off inside, we follow and we end in this room, and all of a sudden the shadows just came alive G! This big assed black shadow thing heads straight for Lee, and then, hell I don't know! One minute Lee's screaming the next he's lying on the floor like that!" he finished pointing to the corpse in front of them.

"Its just like those Girls, hey G?" One of the group said from off to the side. And it was, apart from the body being of a male in his late teens and was still clothed; Gunn felt he could have been looking at one of the crime scene photographs. Oh and not forgetting the smell, like rotten eggs, _'sulphur' _he thought to himself, he'd been in the room enough times when Wes was cooking up something for a case to know what sulphur smelled like.

"Looks like" came his neutral reply.

"You know what did this? How we kill it? Coz you just point the way and its dead!" Karl growled beside him.

"Yeah I know, and we got people working to find out how to put this mother in the ground, but you guys ain't gonna be the ones to do it."

A chorus of protests and curses rent the air at Gunn statement. He simply waited until the ruckus had died down before he spoke again.

"This ain't no vampire, or some scaly assed puss monster that will go down with a quick hack with an axe! This is serious shit! You guys are good at what you do, you keep the streets safe and that's good, but this kind of shit is outta your league! You go chasing this thing and you gonna end up dead like our boy Lee here!"

Gunn waited for anyone to protest, apart from a few grumbled the group remained quiet, most knew that Gunn said this was bigger than them it really was.

"Good, now tell we where this all went down, this thing's days are numbered."

* * *

"It's a shadow?" Buffy asked incredulously as Gunn told the group what he had found out. 

"Seems like, Karl said you try and hit it and you just pass straight through."

"So let me guess, in order to kill the minion we have to Kill Tolezar first?" Buffy grumped.

"If what Gunn's people found, was the Minion." Willow added.

"It is and no we don't" Angel said as he rose from the couch and moved to the table, with an open book. Laying the book on the surface he grabbed another and opened it to a marked page and looked between the two, chewing his lip, his brow lowered in concentration.

"Splainy?" Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" Angel replied looking up from the book, then as if his brain caught up with his ears, his confusion cleared. "This shadow thing, is the minion and in order to Kill Tolezar we have to kill it."

"Coz that'll be a walk in the park, killing something we can't hit." Faith Snarked.

"Both Tolezar and its Minion live in space just outside our dimension, they aren't fully corporeal, that's what Tolezar needs the minion for, to feed enough to become corporeal." Angel explained. "So what we need, is to make the Minion solid, then we can kill it."

"I might know spell that could work, I'd need to check and get ingredients but it shouldn't be a problem to perform it." Willow offered, before dashing from the room and up the stairs to her room.

"OK, so the plan is we, rush into this warehouse, Willow mojos the shadow thing into a not shadow thing, and me and Faith Kill it. That the idea?"

"Pretty much." Angel replied.

"How?"

"In my experience decapitation and dismemberment is pretty final" Angel shot back.

"Oh, slice and dice, that I can do."

"I remember. Last time I saw you, you were pretty handy with that axe thing." Angel said with a nod.

"Scythe." Buffy corrected him.

"Still, he would be singing castrato had he survived." Angel said with a smirk and Buffy bit her lip to hold her laughter, it wasn't funny, well it was, but she knew she shouldn't laugh, and thank god for Dawn being a mine of useless information, otherwise she wouldn't have known what he meant.

"Hey as nice as your little private joke is, can we get back to it, people are dyin" Gunn huffed, since the minion had taken one of his own he was even more driven to get rid of the thing.

"All we're waiting on is the spell."

* * *

They were all set, Willow had found the spell and had the ingredients to do it, the weapons had been divided out and the plan gone over many times. Every one was going, Angel had refused to be left behind, but he had conceded to not joining the fray. He and Gunn were both armed though, just in case. As it turned out they would need at least three people for the spell, Angel having past magical experience and Xander as the weakest of the fighters would join Willow. Gunn was still a crack shot with a cross bow, especially his won custom made one, so he would provide covering fire for Robin and two slayers. 

It was a quarter to midnight. They planned to leave at exactly 12 o'clock, there wasn't a particular reason, it was just nice to have a time, a structure to help everyone psych themselves up for a fight. A fight that for some of them, would be their first in over a year. Angel glanced up from the book he was reading, checking the last minute details, making sure he hadn't missed anything. He knew all to well that this was a huge test for every one, including himself. Willow hadn't used magic in combat situations since The First, Gunn had proved unerring accuracy in target practice, but hadn't been in combat since he'd come out of hospital. Faith and Buffy had been lax with their slaying since Sunnydale was destroyed, although Faith was in better shape, having been training with the other slayers. Robin and Xander had also been out of combat for a while, and for all of them it was the first time they had gone out to fight with this particular group dynamic.

For Angel the test was more serious, without even realising he'd done it, he'd taken control, not just of the research, but also of the group. This would be the first test of his leadership skills since the fight with the partners and also his first time leading from the rear. To say he was nervous was an understatement. There were lives on the line, if his research was only slightly lacking, if his plan had one flaw, it could cost lives. Still raw from the deaths of his friends, the thought of loosing this new family was enough for him to consider saying 'screw the demon and can we go hide somewhere?' But like him, they knew too much, there was no way they could not help.

Looking around the room, he watched the others prepare. Willow was sat crossed legged on the floor, Xander sat opposite her, going over the ritual again. Gunn was meticulously cleaning, checking and testing his crossbow. Robin and Faith were in the hallway just shy of his vision, but he could hear them sparring. And Buffy was stood in the centre of the room checking over the weapons. As he watched her, she pulled a long sword from the chest and wielded it expertly. Seeing her with a sword always had the same effect on him, his stomach would clench tightly, and although the warrior in him appreciated her technique and the men in him definitely appreciated the view, a part of him always became very very nervous.

Buffy swung the sword in an arc, following through as part of exercise. As she brought the blade to bare, she looked up and her eyes locked with his. In that moment Willow's words haunted him.

"_You've both died and come back but you still don't get it. If she dies tomorrow you'll never know IF. Can you spend a mortal life time living with IF?"_

Rising to his feet and maintaining eye contact he spoke.

"Can I speak to you a minute?" When Buffy frowned but nodded, he turned and headed for the kitchen.

Buffy carefully placed the sword down and followed, slightly confused. When she entered the kitchen she found him standing with his back to the room, leaning against the counter.

"Angel?"

"I've been thinking..."

Buffy moved to stand next to him, and as she did the hall clock chimed midnight. As if the mere sound of the chime hailed the end of the world, Angel spun Buffy to him and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was short, but intense, with Buffy pulling away first to breath having not got the chance to get her breath before its start.

"Wow" She gasped, "What was that for?"

Angel ducked his head and scratched the back of his head, in the moment it had seemed the right thing to do, instinct, but now it seemed a little foolish.

"I was thinking, that uhh... maybe sometime we could, you know, go get coffee or something..."

Buffy nearly burst on the spot, this kiss had been a surprise and a good one at that, but this was Angel, human Angel asking her on a sort of date. His words were so close to something he'd asked her before that she was tempted to repeat her own reply from before, but she also knew that this had to be fresh start, the past had to be left where it was if they were to have a chance to have any kind of relationship. Still it didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun.

"You're not allowed coffee."

"Hence the 'or something'... um... oh god, this was stupid, I'm sorry I..."

Buffy suddenly realised just how unsure Angel really was, he had no idea that she still loved him, and why should he? She hadn't said so, and after everything else, he had the confidence of a goldfish on dry land. Raising her hand, she pressed a finger to his lips to silence his babble.

"I'd love to."

* * *

The two cars pulled up outside the abandoned warehouse, Willow driving Angel's GTX and Robin driving his SUV. Angel had been barred from driving due to his medication and not trusting Xander with his car, he'd opted to allow Willow to drive. 

"I can't believe you didn't trust me to drive your car." Xander whined as he got out of the back of the GTX. Angel ignored him and moved to the trunk to get out their equipment. "I'm a good driver, sure I'm one eye man, but they gave me back my licence."

Now it was Willow who spoke up. "Xander, they gave Buffy a licence, that doesn't say much"

"Hey!" Buffy yelped, as she came up beside Angel to unload the trunk. Having ridden with Robin, she hadn't had to put up with Xander's grousing the entire trip.

"Can we please just drop it?" Angel pleaded. "Xander, you're not driving my car, EVER. Let it go."

When the group gathered by the door, Angel addressed them all.

"We all clear of the plan?" They all nodded or signalled in the affirmative. "Good, remember keep your mouths closed until we finish the ritual, that's how it gets its victims... and be careful"

They all moved off into the building, Gunn in the lead following the directions Karl had given him. Just as Angel went to go through the door, Buffy grabbed his arm.

"No heroics," She said seriously, then with a smile she added. "You owe me a cup of coffee."

Catching her hand in his, "Make sure you're there to collect it then."

The unspoken pact made between them, they entered the warehouse in pursuit of the others.

* * *

The room was just as Karl said it would be. It was beyond dark, there seemed to be no light at all, and even the beams from their flashlights seemed to be swallowed by the gloom. Working in absolute silence Willow pulled a bottle of blessed salt from her bag and began to make a circle, Angel and Xander holding flashlights to aid her progress, the others watched the room. 

Passing their flashlights to the others, Xander and Angel joined Willow in the circle, and the three sat crossed legged on the dirty ground. Willow placed a candle at its centre and lit it. As soon as the flame leapt from the wick, the shadows came alive, desperately trying to track the shape in the darkness, flashlight beams crisscrossed the room, those outside the circle moving closer together, knowing they were vulnerable in the dark. By this time willow had set light to a bundle of herbs that now smouldered on the ground and the three joined hands. With a nod from the redhead they began to recite the words they had learned by heart.

_Ex atrum adveho in lux lucis  
Ex aer fio viscus_

_exsisto illae universitas quod nullus alius_

_Exorior_

_Exorior_

_Exorior_

It was like watching syrup spread over a table in reverse. Think and oily the shadows began to coalesce, taking form in the centre of the room. The shade charged forwards towards the group but passed straight through them, making them all suck in a breath of surprise and still the three seated in the circle chanted.

_Ex atrum adveho in lux lucis  
Ex aer fio viscus_

_exsisto illae universitas quod nullus alius_

_Exorior_

_Exorior_

_Exorior_

The noise the creature made was terrible, a skittering screeching noise as it moved around the room in a fury, all the time growing in solidity, seeming to suck the shadows into itself and revealing the room. Gunn was the first to see her, the child seemingly asleep on the small bed at the far end of the room. Unable to speak, and unable to get the other's attention he alternated between watching the minion, and the girl.

_Ex atrum adveho in lux lucis  
Ex aer fio viscus_

_exsisto illae universitas quod nullus alius_

_Exorior_

_Exorior_

_Exorior_

With the third recitation of the spell there was deafening screech and the minion became solid. The room seemed to come to a standstill the Scoobies staring wide eyed at the minion. The minion itself seemed to be indefinite in its form, it moved within its own skin like it was made of molasses. Tendrils of it snaking out like tentacles then returning to the bulk that floated just above the floor.

"Oh Shit" Faith exclaimed

Before anyone could respond a tentacle shot out in her direction at head height. Ducking and rolling she avoided it, the movement spurring the others into action. Having learned form Faiths mistake they charged forward in eerie silence. Gunn rolled his chair back against the wall and took aim, as a tentacle speared its way towards Robin he deftly shot, causing the minion to withdraw it with a shriek.

The three spell casters continued to chant, needing to maintain the spell until the creature was dead.

_Ex atrum adveho in lux lucis  
Ex aer fio viscus_

_exsisto illae universitas quod nullus alius_

_Exorior_

_Exorior_

_Exorior_

Whenever one of the fighters made a sound as they tried to close in on the central mass, the Minion would hone in and fire off one of its spear like tendrils. The closer they got the less it took for the minion to hear them; the mere exhalation of air was enough. They were making little progress, every tentacle they sliced off; bled thick, foul smelling ooze onto the floor, before it was dragged back inside the main mass. Here and there, where the tentacles had been returned, tiny tears in the skin of the mass still oozed. Ducking and slicing, Buffy rolled back to her feet, panting with the exertion of keeping moving.

Catching Faith's eye, she changed her grip on her sword and motioned with her head to the far wall. Faith nodded and the pair moved in tandem. Running full pelt past the Minion towards the far wall, when they reached it they took one step up and turned. Using their conserved momentum they put all their effort into the throwing the weapons they held, Buffy her sword and Faith her Axe. The room held its breath as the two weapons sailed through the air with lethal accuracy. A sickening wail reverberated around the room as the blades connected with the Minion's mass.

Like an over filled balloon, the mass exploded spraying the occupants with the same black sludge that coated the floor. The group just stared at the spot where the demon had been, their silent communion only broken when a pitiful sniffled drew their attention to the bed. The girl was awake.

Wiping the mess from his face Gunn was the first to speak.

"Ok, that was just nasty."

* * *

Translation of the Latin spell (again this is what I put in the translator, if its nonsense blame that)

From Dark to light  
From air become Flesh  
Be of this world and no other  
Come forth  
Come forth  
Come forth


	9. Epilogue

Epilogue

Angel frowned into his drink, stirring it with his straw.

"Something wrong?"

Looking up, he fell into Buffy's concerned gaze and offered her a smile.

"No, Just... This is ice tea?"

Buffy laughed, they were sat in a local coffee shop, Angel having made good on his promise of coffee. When they'd come in, Angel had taken one look at the drinks menu and passed it over to Buffy, completely confused as to what anything was. In deference to his doctor's orders, she'd ordered him a low caffeine fruit ice tea, only trouble was, it came in clear plastic cup, was bright yellow and was topped with whipped cream.

"Yes Angel, that is ice tea." She told him with a chuckle then sobered slightly. "Any news about the girl?"

"No more than the we knew when we left her at the hospital, I assume her parents have taken her home by now." Angel replied after having sat back in his seat. "God 10 minutes later and she..."

Reaching over Buffy laced her fingers through his and gave him a smile that part reassurance, part sympathy. "You did good Angel, we weren't to know that it took the girls before hand and we never would have figured it all out if it wasn't for you."

"Willow..." Angel tried to protest

"Willow agrees with me, and so does Faith. In fact Faith and I were talking and..."

"And what?" Angel frowned.

"We both want to go back to slaying properly and every slayer needs a watcher, even an unofficial one so... feel like being our book guy?"

Angel leant forward so his face was close to hers and said teasingly. "I thought watchers weren't supposed to have close relationships with their Slayers?"

"Since you won't be an actual watcher, just our book guy, I'm sure no one would mind." Buffy returned in a similar fashion. "So, you in?"

Angel leant back again with a chuckle. "Yeah, I'm in."

They sat in silence for a moment, both using the action of taking sip from their drinks as a cover. Buffy put her cup down on the table and sighed.

"We have a lot to talk about don't we?" Angel watched over the rim of his glass as she ran a hand through her hair. "What exactly are we doing Angel? A week ago you couldn't even look at me, and before you say anything, I know ok, you had no reason not to believe Giles and Andrew said. GOD, why is nothing ever simple with us?"

Angel snorted and put his drink down. "I have no idea."

Taking a deep breath Angel decided to lay it on the line.

"I want this Buffy, I want to see if we can make something of this. So many of the things that drove us apart before are gone, but we're different people now, so much has changed. I'm not looking to go back to where we were, to the relationship we had back then."

"Ok, I get that, so what now?"

"We get to know each other again, and we try and find way to... get past all these hurts we have. Then if we still think there's something there, we start with a clean slate, tabala rasa, blank canvas."

"Let go of the past? Easier said than done I think."

"Buffy, I can't do this with you if every time something goes wrong you throw my leaving or... Angelus; in my face, ok? I know you're not a high school girl any more, but I won't let you hold my past over me, I do that to myself enough. I'm not saying you will, but I have to be sure, you won't. We both have issues, so we need to deal with them before anything else."

Buffy nodded sadly, it was all true, she was well aware she had thrown his past in his face more than once during their turbulent relationship. And she had issues with him to work out too, a part of her kept expecting him to just suddenly up and leave, so she knew he was right.

Angel reached out and cupped her cheek in his hand, bringing her eyes up to his.

"I want this, I want you. Tell me it's not worth the effort."

"I want this too, it's worth it." Buffy replied, and then added slyly, "But I still want my Angel kisses while we find out about our new and improved selves."

Angel smiled and captured her lips in a soft kiss. "Seems like a fair trade to me."

THE END

SEQUEL  
WHEN A MAN LOVES...  
COMING SOON


End file.
